As gods and mortals alike struggle for influence and survival, a mysterious band of heroes has made their sudden appearance in these dark times with only one objective:

Spread cheese across Gielinor, by any means necessary.

With this in mind, these highly skilled and courageous individuals came to be known as the Cheese-It Alcheesemists (C.I.A.). They are the defenders of cheddar, the collectors of provolone, and worshippers of the great and mighty Gouda.

(If you would like the Cheese-Its to make an appearance, please contact Lothorian Foryx).

The Cheese-It Alcheesemists

Captain Cheese-It

Fondue's friend and lover, the original Captain Cheese-It, fell in the line of duty defending his fellows from a horde of ravenous giant rats. She has since taken up the name and position as leader, carrying on the Cheese-Its' mission of distributing curdled dairy across Gielinor. She can blast liquid cheese and cheese dust with her Rod of Raschera, or cut cheese and steel alike with her legendary Caboc Cleaver!



Asiago Cheese-it

Asiago aboard his Fourchette de Fermiere.

Asiago Cheese-it Chathead
One of the first Cheese-Its, Asiago is a veteran and the most magically inclined alcheesemist of the group, and Captain Cheese-It's second in command. His skills in transmutation are unmatched by any, and gooey reserves of arcane power are seemingly infinite, only made stronger with his mystical Fourchette de Fermiere. But his credentials don't end there, as he is so well versed in the art of dairy that his teammates believe that he may possess knowledge of cheeses that do not yet exist!

Reginald Ragusano

Another experienced cheesemeister, Reginald has served the Cheese-It Alcheesemists for as long as any of the other members can remember. Though his alcheesemy may not be as powerful as the other Cheese-Its, he is a brilliant inventor with a number of gadgets such as the Gammelost Grenade, which unleashes an explosion of flavor, and the Campi Cannon for long ranged cheesing. His ability to name any cheese by tasting it is impecable.

White Cheddar

White Cheddar

White Cheddar and his figurine doppelgangers.

White Cheddar Chathead
White Cheddar Figurine Chathead
The most mysterious of the Cheese-Its, he simply appeared from a large block of conjured cheese. His Alcheesemy may not be as powerful as Asiago's, but he is capable of generating complex constructs made of dairy, which range from Cheese-It figurines to lamps which glow, and even statues of Sap Sago that may or may not move on their own. With his Parmesan Pitchfork in hand, this Cheese-It's only limit is his imagination!
Milk Bar


Swiss is the newest addition to the team, hailing from the frozen lands to the north. Though he doesn't have much experience with alcheesemy, and his ideas are usually full of holes, he is the mightiest of all of the Cheese-Its, overflowing with potential! With his mighty Munster Mallet in hand, ne'er-do-wells are wise to fear his unique and powerful brand of justice!

Fort Feta

Fort Feta
The Cheese-Its' main base of operations, Fort Feta is an interdimensional fortress made up of sturdy magical blocks of steel-hard feta. Equipped with all of the latest automated faculties for cheese production on a large scale, not only for distribution, but for the Cheese-Its to maintain their vitality and create a sturdy supply of nourishment to wait out sieges. Though only the Cheese-Its themselves have access to the inner facilities, villains beware! Fort Feta is equipped with all of the latest defensive measures for cheesing intruders and fending off invaders with siege weapons loaded with stinky goodness!

The Five Cowmandments

Always Spare Cheese to the Needy

An alcheesemist is to provide for those in need of cheese whenever possible, regardless of how ungrateful or despicable they may seem!

Never Degrate a Fellow Cheese-It

Alcheesemists are your allies! Each and every one must be treated with respect, regradless of how smelly they are!

We Work in the Churn to Serve the Milk

An alcheesemist works to bring cheese to the world, not to take cheese from others and keep it for himself! The life of a Cheese-It is a life of altruism, justice and compassion!

Take Pride in Cheesing

A Cheese-It must always be ready to lay down their life for the sake of cheese and his fellow Cheese-Its, and must always be prepared for a dangerous mission to bring cheese to a location in need!

Pay Respect to Gouda

A Cheese-It must have a deep respect for the great and mighty Gouda, who blesses the alcheesemists with the mental fortitude and skill necessary to serve under him. Though the unenlightened are innocent and ignorant, if a Cheese-It disrespects the great and mighty Gouda, it is blasphemy!

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