Sakir's Journal


Moeyvang 3rd, 147

Deer jornal. Moma gived me this jornal to rite abowt things that i expereence. Dadda took me owt uf skool to do more majic traning agen. its reelly hard an i dont want to do it anymor. Dadda says its important tho so ill keep doing what he says. im still lerning to rite so dont be mad at my bad spelin ok jornal? ill rite more wen i hav things to say!

Benath 31st, 147

my dad took my jornal away i just got it bak. he cot me riting in it when i was supost to be studying. Dadda took me owt of school a few months ago saying that majik was mor important for me to lern. im going to miss my frends but momma says i can stil go to viset them wenever i want to. i dont think my spelin wil get much beter now that my teechurs arent helping me. well ive spent to owers trieng to sownd owt werds now so im going to go to bed night jornal!

Raktuber 2nd, 147

Dadda dosnt talk to me and momma so much anymor. he makes me sit at my desk in my room studieing majic. he says its how things ar supost to be. momma keeps me company at nite tho she lays down in my bed wit me an she sings me lulabies. daddy says its stooped an that theres no point to it but i like it wen momma sings to me.

Raktuber 7th, 147

my berthdays in to days! i cant wait I just no momma an dadda did sumthing speshul for me. i reely hope momma gets me a spelling book i want to try an rite beter to you jornal. i still try to teech myself everyday i promis! your reely my only frend now jornal. i havent spoken to any of my frends sense dadda took me owt of skool. he said mommas promises were lies and that i didnt need frends. hes probly rite but i still mis ali an tuk. i wondur if they ar doing ok.

Raktuber 9th, 147

happy birthday me. momma and dadda didnt do anything for my birthday. mabey next year.

Raktuber 29th, 147

ok so dadda is owt in the desurt rite now an
*From here there is just a long, squiggly line; the journal entry ending there.*

Fentuary 17th, 148

Hey there journal. Its been a while huh. I told you one day id make my spelling beter and i did! See? Pretty nice right? Im still wondering if it was worth loosing you for so long. one day when dadda was out in the desert i snuck out and used some of mommas mony to by a few school suplies. I studied for a month or so before writing again but when i did write dadda came in. he took you away. Ive been really lonely for the past year…I missed you a lot. i wish you could answer back journal. i really want someone to talk to.

Fentuary 19th, 148

Dads been wierd lately. He isnt just making me study anymore. hes been taking me out to the desert with him making me use runes and cast magic. Hes even used magic on me. it really hurts. i keep telling momma but she wont do anything about it. i dont want to go back out there with him, journal. maybe one day you can
help me?

Fentuary 26th, 148

Dad had me sent to a doctors. i cant believe he did that. Im sorry i havent been able to talk to you journal. my dad broke my wrist with an earth spell. it hurts really bad even right now. my dad keeps bringing me magic books and runes. hes still making me practice. i dont want to though. it hurts.

Rinta 27th, 153

I cant believe I still have this. I just read my last entry, Journal. Im sorry I never wrote to you…I meant to, honest. My hand wrist was broken a lot longer then I thought, and eventually I stopped bothering with writing. Well how have things for you been?...It was worth a try, wasnt it. well, Im fifteen now. for my past five birthdays i have gotten one “common spelling book”. That was it. I was so happy when I got it…though I dont think its helped that much. Father still cares more for his magic than he does for us. I think the only reason he makes me learn is so that I can handle myself if Im accidentally damaged while he tests things on me. Asshole.

Benath 7th, 153

I dont know whats wrong with Father. Hes not himself anymore. he looks sick, Im scared to even be in the room with him. Mommas scared, too. She wont admit it, but I can see it. its so obvious. I cant blame her though, I wouldnt tell my dad he scares me. id be too afraid hed kill me! hes gotten into some weird magic, too. Its not the normal stuff, like fire, or water, or mind, or even that weird floating stuff he did. Hes been raising skeletons, and zombies, and it scares me. they always look at me like theyre ready to eat me. Father always makes me kill them.

Benath 26th, 154

Caroline. It’s the only word that keeps popping up into my mind. she moved in next door, and shes so nice, and friendly, and beautiful… She actually talks to me. and shes around my age! (just a little older). Isnt it great, journal? me and her are going to go down to the oasis tomorrow while dads practicing. Im going to pack us a picnic…it will be great!

Benath 28th, 154

It went off without a hitch! Me and Caroline had a great time! Shes really funny, and nice, and beautiful…she agreed to be my girlfriend! This is so cool…I never thought id meet someone like her! After I finish all the work dad gives me to do, im going to take her out again! I cant wait!

Ire of Phyrrys 6th, 154.

Cancer. Every time I say it, it feels like someones stabbing me in the gut. Cancer. Cancer cancer cancer. I love you Caroline. Please dont die.

Ire of Phyrrys 13th, 154.

I went to visit her again today. Shes very pale. I kissed her for the first time too. I know Im a bit late; we’ve been dating for months. Its just…I dont know. It didnt matter, anyway, I dont think she got to enjoy the kiss.

Ire of Phyrrys 28th, 154.

I cant believe it.

Novtumber 7 th, 154.

I miss you.
I’ll bring you back, I promise.

Wintumber 36th, 154.

Happy New-Years. Its not the same without you, Caroline.

Rintra 2nd, 155.

Faelorn. Thats his name. if I still called him a father, id be lying. There is one thing useful hes done so far. And it will help me get Caroline back. Necromancy.
We’ll be together again soon, love.

Rintra 8th, 155.

Im going to get her tommarrow.Shes still lying in her tomb waiting to be woken up. When I wake her up shell be so happy and then we can live like we were supposed to. together. Just a little longer. I love you, Caroline.

Rintra 11th, 155.

Shes cold and shes missing some patches of skin. But shes still so beautiful. Shes sleeping now, not moving. Shes skinnier too. Im holding her in my lap as I write this. I’m so excited.

Rintra 12th, 155.

Were together again. shes alive and me and her will be together forever. Shes in my basement right now. she forgot how to talk and she has trouble with a lot of movements. I think she might be blind too because she keeps snapping at me. but I know she can hear because she always turns her head in my direction whenever I speak to her. Im going to teach her again. im willing to for years if I have to. Sweet Caroline will live truly once again.

Rintra 27th, 155.

Weve made little progress. But I havent given up hope.

Pentember 5th, 156


Pentember 7th, 156

I had her. I embraced her . We were together again. Why did Faelorn ruin it. Why did he hate us together? Its because he was never successful with mom. He was jealous of how much Caroline and I loved eachother. I didn’t need her to speak to know what we had was real. He stole her from me. So I’ll steal his love from him.

Pentember 23rd, 156.

He took us to Varrock. He said it wasnt safe for me in Al Kharid anymore. My moms pregnant, again. Faelorn says its a girl. I dont know how he’d know; it’s probably some sort of magic he studied years for while neglecting me. Fathers going out today to work on more magic, something about a portal. Its time to steal whats important to him, just like he stole Caroline from me.

Pentember 25th, 156.

She’s dead. Her and the baby. Now maybe Faelorn will know what its like to lose the person you love. It won’t hurt him as much as he hurt me; no love was was strong than Caroline’s and I’s. But the smallest amount of pain I can cause him means the world to me.

Pentember 28th, 156.

It took him 3 days to notice. Shows how much he cared about his family. He dragged me from the house and into the woods south of Varrock. There was some large, purple portal…and he threw me through it. After I went through, the portal went unstable. It closed behind me. I don’t know where I am. The grass is soft, and there’s a large landscape infront of me. On either side there are mountains, scraping against the bright blue sky. It’s beautiful…I hate it.

~I don’t know the date anymore. It’s been a while. A long time?

I’ve been here for years. I’ve been kept entertained by my own thoughts. I have mellowed. I haven’t even picked up this journal in a year…I saw no point to. I haven’t done anything worth mentioning. And… I see now what I did was a mistake. Faelorn was never a good father; but I do regret killing my mother and soon-to-be-baby sister. I hope he has moved on; at the same time I hope he has not. I want him to be happy, but I want him to suffer. It matters not anymore; I most likely will never see him again.

~One of these dates.

The land is breaking. The sky is shattering like glass, and the mountains are leveling. Everything is falling apart. This is the most action I have seen in years. I want to be scared; I should be scared, but I can’t bring myself to. I feel as though there’s nothing to be scared of. I will see what happens.

Moeyvang 13th, 169

This old Journal. It has been a long time, friend. Perhaps there is a reason I have not used you. In the Grey Realm, there seemed to be no point. The days dragged on, each the same as the last. There was nothing to write about, there was no passion to write. What was I to say? “Today I gathered more apples from the apple tree. Again. Just like yesterday”? I suppose now would be a good time to start writing again, if only to chronicle my last few months. Sadly, I am dying. Not from a disease, or from old age, no. From insanity. The mage from the Grey Realm is slowly driving me insane. Perhaps I owe you a story, Journal, for I have so long left you untouched in the depths of my pocket. Funny, you seemed larger when I was a mere child. It is to be expected, however, I have matured. However, I should get back to the story. I am convinced that, in the Grey Realm, time ran faster than it did here on Gielinor. I feel I was there for decades. Millennia, even! I see the last time I wrote, I told about the shattering sky and the crumbling earth. The Grey Realm’s apocalypse. Unbenounced to me, this entire realm had civilization; I was simply confined to the un-inhabited parts. Most would say it was for the best, now, that the mage had found me. However, I disagree. I would have preferred to die in the apocalypse than die as I will here, a madman driven to his own doom. A mage approached me during the apocalypse, saying he needed out. He seemed, at first, to be a good influence, however I have come to realize he is just using me. I was his escape from the realm; a person with a link to Gielinor. He shares my body, now, using me as a husk to get out of his realm and adapt to a new one. For now, he simply observes, watching me.
Months have passed since I have come back. The last few months have been unimportant, I assure you. It was simply me readjusting to life, especially with my new-found power. Oh, I did not explain that part, did I? I apologize, Journal. The mage had offered me something in return for taking my sanity. I did not know at the time how dearly I’d pay for it; if I did, I would not have accepted. I am currently imbued with magic; the raw essence of it. I believe at this point my blood has been replaced by raw magic. My body is laced now with intricate drawings; on my skin, on my clothes, being seen no matter what I’m wearing. They seem to leak wisps of smoky energy. He explained this to me. He is powerful, very much so, beyond what a human could comprehend. I currently hold all of his knowledge, his power; however, I cannot tolerate it. My body would shut down if I kept it all. These drawings, the magic changing my DNA, it is all simply a way for the excess magic to be used or disposed of. It is almost scary to think about, at times, that I am no longer fully human, but partly a magical essence. Perhaps one day I will get over it.
I have finally decided to live out my last days being productive. There is no sense in waiting around for the impending doom to take me. I applied for the Court Magi position in the Royal Camelot Court. I am currently on my trial period, an entire tower dedicated to my magical studies. Three floors. It is quite nice, I must say. I plan on introducing myself to the others; perhaps if I am liked among the populace, I will be more accepted here.

Moeyvang 15th, 169

I have introduced myself to most; however, little of them see reason to so much as give me the time of the day, spare a few. There is one in particular who sparked my interest, however. Lucy. She reminds me of Caroline, in some ways. She matches her in beauty, maybe even bests her. I have not thought of Caroline in a long time; but it no longer hurts to. What I did with her was a mistake. I now know what I brought back was not Caroline, but an empty, dead husk of her. These are the moments that make me question magic.

Moeyvang 17th, 169

Bah. “Do not worry”, he says, “you will have many tasks. Boredom is not a concern”. The King is a liar. I have been given one task, so far, and that was to collect a litter of kittens that snuck their way into the castle courtyard, and keep them all in my room. They currently sleep in my bed-chamber, with me. Their names are Mr. and Mrs. Snuggles ( I found these names humorous, but fitting. While they are siblings, I believe they are twins; they each have long, white fur, with a black left-paw), Oswald (He is the oldest of the litter; he has a large black spot on his back), Samuel (he is the youngest, and he always seems to follow around Oswald. He is the only kitten that has no spots over his white fur), Mister Bigglesworth (He has a black spot around his eye, reminding me of a monocle), Korn (the only other female besides Mrs. Snuggles), and Captain Cuddles (he’s the smallest). Lucy and the Duchess both kept a kitten.

Moeyvang 18th, 169.

I slipped up today. It seems to break character for me, now, but I seem to have taken to Lucy. I do not quite understand why I did it, but apparently I felt the need to blurt out “Bend over” to her. She got upset; however by the end of the night, I got her to dismiss it as her imagination, because she was tired. I convinced her she wanted to be in a relationship, perhaps purely by accident, though I am not sure if I was subconsciencly telling myself to ask her to be mine. She reluctantly agreed with me; however my name did not come up when she mentioned people she’d try it with, nor did I fit her criteria. I am not rich, nor noble, nor can I swing a sword. I think that is the point where I stopped trying. She met with a Knight in Ardougne she had told me about. Lucas. He rejected her, whether it was for the better or for the worse. She also mentioned that “Dimitri”, the bodyguard to the Duchess.

Moeyvang 19th, 169.

I saw her talking to that Dimitri. The Grey Realm mage ticked me off yesterday, and we had a shouting match in the great hall of the castle. I see now that I must have looked crazy, however I played off that it was not me; perhaps someone else in the castle. I went off to my tower, and stared through the window. Sure enough, Lucy and Dimitri were out there within minutes. I could not hear them, but the way one would look sad for a moment, and the other immediately came to their rescue…disgusting. I felt a mix of anger and hurt at that point, even though I was not entitled to. She is not mine. I think I shall close this book, now; I hear someone coming up the ladder into my tower.

Moeyvang 19th, 169.

Lucy was the one climbing the stairs. She just left. I have made the biggest fool of myself. I-…called her Caroline. I cannot admit it to the mage, but I know he is winning. My days are numbered. I can feel my sanity slowly falling apart; soon enough I will not be able to think rationally. I am sure this will be displayed in my writing, Journal. Lucy told me she loved Dimitri. That they held hands and he made her smile. He is just like Faelorn; emotionless, hateful. Stealing my love. It is not fair, he would not be good for her. I know it.

Moeyvang 20th, 169

She was almost defiled last night. Lucy, that is. Luckily the prince allowed me to set up a scrying pool in my lair as a security system a few days ago, and I had a scrying point in each room of the castle. The purple-haired one, Sero, drugged her. The one girl, Hayley, got naked. It was odd through the scrying pool. It was my first time seeing a naked woman. I would lie if I didn’t say I was attracted to the sight. She asked me later if I liked what I saw. I did lie, this time, and I said no. I made my way into the Maid’s room and recovered Lucy; though forcefully. The purple-headed one was very reluctant to give her up. Lucy ended up wanting me to stay in her room while she was sleeping. Whilst it made me over-joyed, I knew it was not personal; she wanted someone there so she did not feel safe. Earlier, the purple-headed one told me she would haunt Lucy through her dreams. So, I watched over them.

She dreamed of Dimitri.

She came into my tower today, as well. Then she called me Dimitri, just as I have often called her Caroline. It-…angered me. Beyond belief. I’ve never been so hurt. I’ve never felt so betrayed. By the end of it I believe I had her almost in tears, as she climbed away. Even now, I do not remember what I said. Things have become blurry for me. All I know is, Faelorn was mentioned.
I will apologize to Lucy tomorrow.

Moeyvang 21st, 169

I tried apologizing to Caroline. She wouldn’t listen. She said I was insane, and that I wasn’t a good friend. Then she got upset and left.

Moeyvang 24th, 169

Lucy was ignoring me for the past few days. I plan on asking her out to a picnic.

Moeyvang 26th, 169

I asked Caroline out, today. She came down to the oasis with me, and we had a picnic. I pulled down my hood and shawl to eat, and she stared at my face for a while. I thought she was asking me to by the way she looked at me, so I leaned in and kiss her.
She hit me.
I’m still confused by what Caroline wanted. At first, she was mad. Then she said she was glad she kissed me. Then we kissed again, and she said she hated it.
I don’t know what I did wrong.
I’m sorry, Lucy.

Moeyvang 26th, 169.

Caroline is asleep, right now. In my bed.
We made love.

-Dates don’t matter anymore

Caroline has stopped talking to me. But I haven’t stopped watching her. She just goes about her duties. Does she hate me? It’s Dimitri. I know it is. I’ll kill him. I’ll dance on his grave.

-Dates don’t matter anymore

That’s what his name was.
The Mage from the Grey Realm. He’s finally told me. He belittles me. Mocks me. Tortures me.
Yet he calls me his savior.

-Dates don’t matter anymore

Gah. Faelorn came. I can’t remember anything from the past few weeks. I’m so lost.
Car…Lucy. Lucy Lucy Lucy. I won’t forget. I can’t forget. You’re Lucy. Not Caroline.
I’m sorry for everything. It was him. Galith. It wasn’t me. That’s not to say I didn’t have feelings for you. There’s not a doubt in my mind that I was truly, deeply in love with you. But I could not express these feelings how I wanted to. The kiss, that night, the countless times I called you Caroline. They weren’t me. That was my mind cracking and breaking, slowly falling apart. I never thought I’d say this, but Faelorn’s come to save me. I will miss you, Lucy. I’m sorry we could not be together like how I imagined. That I couldn’t offer you everything Lucas, or Dimitri could. That I wasn’t rich, and I couldn’t hold a sword, and I wasn’t noble. I still feel my sanity fading; however I made a deal with Galith. I’ve been offered a few moments to be full again. My sanity is intact. I am Sakir, just like I was long ago. However there is a price to pay.
I’ll be dead tomorrow.
I hope you find this journal. If not…my life will be a waste. I’ve never amounted to anything. There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted, or hoped for, or have been proud of. Except for you.


I love you, Lucy Lockhart.

~Sakir; don’t forget me.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.