Kane Quas Tyrelen

Date of Birth

Bennath 17th, Year 142 of the Fifth Age

Place of Birth

Seers Village

Close Family Tree

James Thyrus Tyrelen; Winged Guardian, age 51, Height 6'5

Betrix Meline Tyrelen; Winged Guardian, Age 51, Height 5'6

Lysia Tyrelen; Wife, Age 25, Height 5'2

Steele Vincent Tyrelen; Son(First Born), Age 7, Height 4'10

Ella May Tyrelen; Daughter, Age 5, Height 4'2

Marshall Scout Tyrelen; Son (Twin), Age Less then a month, Height 1'1

Scout Marshall Tyrelen; Son (Twin), Age less then a month, Height 1'1








Guard of Ardounge


Sir, Commander, Lord

Kane Tyrelen was Commanding Officer of the New Haven regiment until the regiment's collapse due to leadership issues. He started out as a young squire and through his many years of squireship, made his way to the title of Knight where his valour and skill quickly advanced him to the Position of Knight Marshal, a Champion of the Order. He was quickly placed under the command of Sir Tiberious Elysian, whom later became Commander of the white knights, after the unfortunate suicide of Sir Tiberious, Kane Quas Tyrelen took up the position he was being groomed for as Commanding Officer of the New Haven Regiment.


Physical Features and Notable Facial Features:
Kane stands at the height of 6'4, with a well trained body that he continues to develop and maintain with precision and care. Kane does have a large muscules(Douch bag muscles) as he trained much of his life to be in such a condition.
His hands and feet are rather large which accent his larger frame, and he remains clean shaven(Mostly, 'cause lysia).Kane has a blocky jaw line and chin, that rises into high cheek bones. His brown eyed eyes are usually seen glaring at someone and appear set off slightly against his fiery red hair. Kane keeps his hair fairly short and during his younger years he also adorned himself with a blackhead band, though as time has passed he has let that go for one reason or another. True to kane's ginger gene's he has a ruddy alabastar skin tone common to those with red hair.

Kane has long since given up his stagering ambitions of leading the white knights, content to have abandoned his post as Knight Commander of the New Haven Regiment. On most days Kane can be seen wearing commoners clothing, usually adorned with some sort of bronze plating or the like(Like he'd pay for better), on days where more Lordly duties are required Kane can be seen wearing a black suit of sorts, tailor made by one of the better tailors of Ardougne.


Kane, "...Where's my shirt?" Look.


Kane is a simple man, all of his life he has had one goal, to be a the best knight he can be.
To most Kane comes off as a rather demanding, hateful person whom demands respect though whether he gets it or not is for you to deicide, if one were able to break past the barriers that he has errected in need for becoming a leading knight, they would find a slightly bashful, caring man whom wishes to have nothing more then a family, a simple life as a knight and one whom always expects 110% of themselves.
Kanes goals for the future are few, hes already gained more then he ever hoped to, he seeks only to have a family now, a life with Lysia.


Early years

Kane was born sometime during the winter twenty-six years ago, at the Tyrelen estate to Betrix and James Tyrelen. Kane grew up as any noble child would, learning from the best tutors his family could afford, and spending his free time exploring the family estate and playing knight. Kane also had a sister, only two years younger then himself, and she had the same blood as Kane, if a tad shorter. The two could be seen bickering or playing at any time of the day, though much of the time their parents were gone, busy with Guardian duties, the servants and bulters kept the children in check and Betrix did what she could when she was able.

Much of Kane's young life was filled with thoughts of following in his parents footsteps and becoming a Winged Guardian, fighting various evil monsters and saving towns and villages in the Name of the Lord of the Sky's.
At the age of eleven Kane was Infored he was going on a trip, to the holy city of Falador, a stop on the way of his fathers assigned Missions. The trip was quite safe and un-interesting though for a young boy who's never left the sanctity of his village it was the adventure of a life time, once they reached the city, they made an almost immediat stop at the castle, where they were greeted by a burly aged knight with a flowing grey beard, just inside the courtyard.


It was then that kane's father turned to him, a slightly sad look on his face, as bent down all clad in his Armour. Kane was told he would be staying in the city, to become a squire for the white knights.
With Tears in his eyes, the young eleven year old would turn to face the old knight, making his best to look as buff and persentable as he could, though at the time Kane had yet to hit his growth spurt and as such was rather scrawny at the time something he would be teased about for quite some time by the other squires, The old knight beckoned him onwards, showing him where he might place his bags, and informing him of his squire tests he'd be taking soon as well as where the food rooms were.

Kane kept contact with his family for the first year, his mother especially seemingly worried about him, his first question was why? Why did he have to be a white knight, why couldn't he be a Winged Guardian?

His parents only answer was that they wished greater fame and fortune upon their son then the meager life of a winged paladin, whether this excuse were true or not Kane never knew only that he would let his parents down.
Kane rather small at the time, took a few months as a currier though being Kane he was rather eager to move onto squireship, though being so small at the time, he had much trouble getting in, though he did.

This continued on for quite some time as one would expect for a newly appointed knight, slowly Kane's Name began to spread within the order, nothing big or fancy, but he became known for his successful Missions and as one would expect was given more important and challenging missions along with snagging a few ranks through the years.

Maybe it was luck, maybe they took pity on the boy, either way, Kane made his way to squireship still being eleven, and only continued to get better and better.
Kane's assigned knight was not the kindest of men and while he was a great and valient knight the Kane couldn't help but look up to, almost as a father figure as years past, Kane was subjected to a bit of predujice, due to his faith of armadyl, which his commanding knight called "The old Faith", one that should be forgotten for the better and more holy god, Saradomin.
Kanes training was Intense and long, He went everywhere with his Knight, including various mission as well as being present during the siege of falador, which he still has a few emotional scars from though he rarely mentions such times as they were his first memories of real true human versus human fighting and blood shed.

Early Knighthood

Kane's Growth Spurt did finally kick in around the age of thirteen, it was soon after that he began to out shine many of the other squires as his body began to grow taller and more squared untill around the age of sixteen he stood at a slit** lanky but still rather buff 6'3, as he neared the middle of his sevententh year it had become more then clear that Kane was cut out to be a knight as as such was soon put under the cerimony to become a full knight.

The night after being knighted is a bit of a blur to Kane, having the first time ever for him trying such alcohalic beverages such as ale and whiskey, which through the years he has grown rather accustom to.

What he can recall is a rather roudy bunch of his friends a few of whom had also become knights that day, went out to the local pub, and thats where things become a bit fuzzy, the next morning Kane would wake up with a chicken resting rather sleepily upon his head in a back alley way.
This was only one of two days Kane has ever been late for any such thing considering the white knights and after a brief scolding by his once assigned knight, a hearty chuckle was sent around the two, though Kane of course having a terrible hangover was less then in a joyous mood.

The knight gave him one last thing a parting gift as Kane would now have his own missions and assignments to go on, this gift was a round shield of falador, white in color with a light blue star to represent saradomin, and...something a bit out of the ordinairy, a rather large sapphire encrusted in the heart of the star, with a strange enchantment crafted by one of the wizards to the south hiding in their tower.

Apperently as the senior knight explained it could deflect fire magic, keeping it form heating up the shield and even if used correctly hurl it back at ones foe.

So kane had done it, he was now a white knight, on his own there to protect and serve the lands of Asgarnia. Life was rather monotonous for the young knight of Seventeen a rare and great achievement for any young man.
Of course being a fresh knight much of his first of assignments were rather tedious and not so /grand/ as slaying dragons or saving fair princess(Of They usually consist with dealing with a rouge animal wondering to close to the city or a dealing with bands of goblins or hobgoblins.

Golden Days

At some point Kane's aptitude caught the eye of a certain white knight known as Sir Tiberious Elysian. He took Kane under his wing and began to groom him for his one day position as commander of the 69th regiment. At some point during all of this Tiberious was approached by a man named Arn Helious whom promised Tiberous a floating castle for his regiment. As well as the promise to bring the will of the white knights down with much less of the red tape surrounding many of the other regiments.

Around the same time a budding relationship had slowly been forming between Sir Elysian's daughter and Sir Kane Tyrelen. Their strange occurance of friendship slowly flowered into a relationship much deeper then that. Their private bliss was, for the most part hidden. Atleast to Lysia's Father and Arn Helious the Priest of New Haven, Alas it did not stay this way. After a knight filled with to much booze, the two made their way in their drunken stupor to their "secret" place where after a bit of skinny dipping and drunken fun. Fell asleep, unfortunatly Lysia woke up during the night and threw up all over Kane which caused him to throw off his shirt. Once they returned to sleep Kane happened to roll ontop of Lysia. The next Day happened to be an important meeting for the Regiment and the Marshal not showing up was more then a concern.

The Fall

With a simple control Arn teleported himself to the position of Kane's Comorb. Arn being a zeal of Saradomin was horrified with what he saw, having brought the whole of the regiment with him for whatever reason. Kane was lying atop Lysia on the beach, shirtless and that wasn't the only terribly in-appropriate thing to occure. His...Manhood Happened to be a tad Perky that morning and as he rose up, greeted the whole of His regiment. In his hung-over stupor Kane's massive bulk was little match for the knights who restrained him at the orders of Arn Helios. Arn had at this point turned into a rage, thinking the two had had relations outside of marriage. He Took Lysia, with the other knights having to force Kane to ground calling out for his lover as she were whisked away to be shown to her father.

Kane was soon after allowed to go free, still appearing in his barechested and haphazard appearance. He would dash into the inner sanctum of the New Haven Citadel, his only thought on how Lysia were doing. Only to be greeted by even more members of his regiment which he bereated with questions demanding to see Lysia and her father.

Eventually he was allowed to see Lysia, shattered and broken. He had little time with her before being called into the fire lit room to speak to his superior and the father of his would-be wife, Sir Tiberious Elysian. It's safe to say things did not end well, reports from outside would say there to be shouting by the end of the convertation. Kane would soon after burst out, his face a chisled, hardened visage of sadness and anger. The loyalty and faith he once held above all else for his commander shattered into a million peices as Love and his job started a tug-of-war within this once simple Knight's heart.

It was not day later that the body of Sir Tiberious was to be found, dead. He had written a death note relinquishing Lysia as his daughter before killing himself by poison. Lysia's heart was shattered, this only furthered Kane's growing hatred of his beloved Commander. For the day before during the two's meeting where Tiberous demanded Kane punish Lysia as he saw fit, on Kane's leaving Tiberous left him with the words "I expect you to fail."


After Tiberious's Burial Kane was offered the position of Tiberious's. Kane was not prepared for such a position but his loyalty to the white order was far stronger then his worry of being able to handle such a position. Soon after Arn Helious went missing, his position as head of the Temple Knight's stationed with the New Haven Regiment being taken up by Vinnie Hanson. This man grew close to Kane in his tumultous position as Commander of the New Haven regiment.

As is the story of Kane's life upon meeting Lysia things didn't stay slightly normal for long, the death of a fellow commander proceeded the kidnapping of Kane's now Girl friend, Lysia Elysian. This released a chain of events leading to quest which evetually brought Kane to the rocky Lands of the Daemonhiem. There he met the perpetrator, a blind man from the eastern lands. The man demanded that if Kane wished to see Lysia alive he give himself to the man to be killed for honor or some such thing. The man told Kane if he wished to find Lysia and give himself up to head into the depths of deamonhiem and search for an exit to a mysterious island where he were keeping Lysia. Kane's burning love for Lysia gave him little choice in the matter and the knight who had come with him soon abandoned him, the rest he ordered to return. Expecting full well to never be seen again.

The Foreign Kidnapper

Leaving his armour and belongings behind Kane wrote what he assumed his last journal entry and plunged into the of deamonhiem. After a long and arduous journey he located said exit and made his way to the island where Lysia layed, half-dead and freezing cold. Kane promptly helped her up and took her back with him into deamonhiem. The eastern man was no where to be found and they both made their way through the dungeons with little problems, thank the gods.

Fall of New Haven

New Haven began to loose itself, whether due to its commander or members, things began to spiral out of the light of Saradomin. Lumbridge was taken over by the Kinshra, and only after careful, if bumbling diplomatics, was the city freed from the black vermins grasp, though not with out a heavy toll. The kinshra knights ravaged the country side burning and pillaging everything in sight, causing public affairs to fall to shambles. Eventually Kane's position and mental stated began to deteriorate and this eventually ended with Kane Taking Lysia and a little girl by the name of Lan on a boat headed for catherbay.

The Island

Along the way to catherbay, calamity struck, the boat the couple, along with the little girl Lan was seiged by a giant cthulu(Thanks Kex -.-). It's massive tentactles racked the ship and its crew, spewing salt water and crushing the hull of ship like it were made of tooth picks. Though the members of the crew faught violently, the hulking creature had its way with the ship, hurling what was left out into the sea, the luck of the bone chilled group of Kane, Lysia, Lan, and the captain, landed none to softly onto the beach of a deserted(/Hah/) island. The next morning when the three awoke, for the captain had apparently managed to awaken earlier, set off in search of the island for supplies and hopefully a way off the hellish dot on the ocean.

Kane managed to set himself free from the debris of the ship, suprisingly unharmed. Lysia and Lan were to just waking, covered in wet rags of what was once their clothes. Kane managed to get them free and the three quickly there after took their first steps off the battered hull of the ship and onto the island. Footprints spoke of the captains departure, and as if to make things continuely worse, a hellish roar echoed from far off on the other side of the island. The little troupe soon began to set up camp, the pit in their stomachs ever growing at that henious roar, but they had more important things to do, such as creating a camp. Kane chose to set off in search of food, while the girls stayed behind to set up camp. Little happened at the camp, fortunatly for the girls, though Kane was none to lucky. He followed lazily along the route of the captian, who had made little effort to hide his trail. It seems though, that the captain could not escape his destiny of going down with the ship, his lifeless and near shredded corpses discovered by Kane, who nearly dashed his way back towards Lysia and Lan, fearing for their safety as yet another blood curdling roar shook the island, this one more near. Kane bounded up the hill over looking the sandy white beach where a dotting Lysia mothered over the homeless little girl, unawares as out of the thick trees came the hideous visage of a Black Demon.

Kane cared little how it had arrived, and the shrieking of Lysia told Kane she had finally spotted the beast, heading directly for them, if at a slow pace. Back track to just before Kane had left, and one would have spotted the group pulling out a large chest, which had contained a few of their belongings, the rest having been scheduled to arrive a few days after they had. Kane had brought with them, his sword, never leaving his side at this time in his life, ever resting at his hip. Lysia pulled from the chest her bow and arrow. For all her laxisity, she could be a good shot when required. Kane jumped into actions, watching the creature hungrily move towards his soon-to-be family. Litterally, as the creatured passed, having not spotted the douch bag muscled Ginger, He pulled his sword free and with a righteous yelp, hurled himself on the demons back, driving the sword deeply into creatures thick hide. Lysia hadn't stayed still in all of this, her arrows whizzing at the creature, leaving gouges in its eyes and, with the two ex-white knights. The Demonic beast fell, hurling kane from it's foul smelling body, sending the large man tossing across the sand like a rag doll. The vile smells of sulfur and burning, rotten flesh, filling the air as the demon burst into flames and distilled down to ash.

A New Start

When Kane came to, Lysia and Lan, looking worse for wear stood above him. His sword arm shattered, and aching. The group would spend nearly a week on the isle before finally a boat sailed passed, and to the threes undying gratitude rescued them. With his arm in a sling, Kane stood now at the docks of Catherday. Lysia and Lan, looking haggard and weary for what was supposed to be an enjoyable journey. Pulling what few belongings they had under his shoulder, Kane guided the three to their new home in Catherbay.

The little group moved into a pre-furnished home in the fishing hamlet of Hemester. A lovely, if quiet hamlet out side of Seers Village. The perfect place to settle down and raise a family. Of course it wasn't all roses and daisys. Kane had grown up near here, and his families vast estate was only a little off from seers village. The family having aided in the settlement of both Catherbay and seers village, they are well respected, and the long line of guardians has always been a place of pride among the family. Kane also had to learn how to function outside of the militaristic white order. Something he found....challenging at best. Kane could never truly fufill a desk job, he was far to anxious for such a thing, though he was highly literate, as all knights should be, he simply isn't the type to sit around all day fiddling with words, and this most likely speeded in his leave of duty as Commander of New Haven.

Heart Ache

The Bond between Kane, Lysia, and Lan only strengthed as the months went by. Lan was soon as much a child as the one Lysia soon expected to see in the coming months. Alas, it was not ment to be. The day started like any other, clear skies, fall air surrounding the Tyrelens home. Kane busied him outside, fiddling with the old smithery, as the house he now owned had once belonged to the local blacksmith who had moved on from the hamlet. Lan, being ever curious, shucking her shyness right out the window in the times spent with Kane and Lysia, curiously danced about him, playing and asking questions as all young children do.

A dark figure loomed down the road, ever so slightly out of place. A traveler, nothing to rare, many made the trekk from Ardougne to Seers and from there the rest of the world, but something seemed off about him. Maybe it was his gait, maybe it was the way he eyed lan, but kane felt the travelers gaze as he paused to have a look at the man and his nearly adopted child. Unknown to Kane, or Lan, standing infront of them was none other then the infamous, Corvus Bolten AKA. Pimpshra. After an uncomfortable conversation, that soon escalted into a full out screaming match as he revealed himself uncle of the little girl Lan, her Family lost in a fire. The Pimpshra went off vowing to return for his neice. Kane heading with Lan inside to brood, half not believing the man, half feeling this were some sort of plot created by the kinshra to get back at him as he was a former commander of the White knights.

As the evening wained, Corvus made his move, having brought with him black knight allies, they out manned the budding family. Lan already asleep in her bed on the top floor of the house. Kane buckling against every muscle in his body, slowly trudged up the steps, while Lysia remained in the hold of the black knights. His stomach nearly flipped as he brushed a stray hair from the little street urchin. She had brought him and Lysia so much joy in the past few months and she seemed so at ease. Few times in Kane's life had he been brought to tears, this was one of those times. Tear streaming down his face, Kane slowly awoke Lan, and in her sleepy haze he picked up from the bed and started back down the steps. As he made it to the bottom Lan started to realize what was happening and began to cry. This only hurt Kane more, his heart aching for the little girl, For the first time in her life, she had a family, and now that retched black knight was stealing her away from him. With a parting promise that he would come for her, Kane relenquish the little girl to the black knights, them hurling lysia into his arms. As quickly at they came, the kinshra were gone, and Lan with them. Leaving the Burly man, and his girl friend on the ground in tears as they lamented the loss of their little street urchin. Unsure what would happen to her, would she be treated alright? Was she going to be brain washed into some black knight verim? These answers swam in the couples mind as they mourned their loss of the little girl who called herself Lan.

Bitter Sweet News

Though the scar upon the couples hearts after the loss of Lan could not be removed so easily, it was not long after Corvus retook his neice that Kane and Lysia were told some news that put a bitter sweet taste in their mouths. After Kane cheeply took lyisa to some "docters" that weren't really docters, Lysia forced Kane to shell out the gold to visit his mothers favorite docter and to the joy of Kane and Lysia, though mostly Kane. The couple learned that Lysia was pregnant.

Love is all I need

The news of Lysia being with child, gave Kane the spark he needed to jump start his and Lysia's new life. While Kane's parents had more than enough gold to aid the new soon-to-be couple, Kane's pride would not have himself begging at his fathers knees for gold, due to the fact that he had left his post as a commander of the White Order, and had instead eloped and created a child with the daughter of his now deceased commanders daughter. No, Kane would have to devise anotherway to pay the bills, though their home had been payed for, through Kane's savings which he had rarely spent, being the miser he is, it was not nearly enough to keep a family of three afloat for the rest of their lives. Lysia had lost her dowery and mother's heirlooms, through her father renouncing her as her father, thus forcing the two, essentially Noble born Couple to stoop to commoner status.

Kane, though is a man of his word and honor. When he says something, he means it, and he'll do whatever it takes to achieve that goal. Though he had all the skills of reading and writting, arithmetic and the like, he had always cared little for the life style of the paper work and the like. In-fact, Kane's pride drove the couple into desperate times, as he went "searching" for jobs in Ardougne, which in reality mounted to him visting the bar and indulding in one of his many faults, drinking. It was only through the persistance and meddling of Lysia that Kane came to hold the position as a guard within the city of Ardougne, something he loathed. He had to start directly from the bottom, a simple grunt, that carried little lee-way in the lands he had only spent his childhood in.

Time continued on, Kane continued to keep his position as a guard of Ardougne, traveling into the city each day. Lysia busied herself reading for the child as best she could. This included chasing animals around with her bulding belly as they raced to be free of her loving, yet, strangling grip and on one occasion getting caught in a fishing net that had hung as decoration on the two's wall.

Finally, a wedding

During the reception of Kane and Lysia's wedding, an lover of Kane's approached him. Apparently having been invited or choosing to come for whatever reason she asked to speak with Kane in a more private setting. There she explained to him the situation of Varrock and much of her Plan.

After that she offered him a job offer as the lead knight for the Varrockian knights, in the city she planned to take over. Kane was more then apprehensive, but the promise of the pay, education and housing more then persuaded the ex-commander into coming out of retirement. Kane is now preparing his budding family in Hemester awaiting the call from Nashele to move his family from their country home and into the high society of Varrock.


Journal Entry # 207

  • A small leather bound book would sit nestled under a pile of neatly arranged and polished white armour, which appears to be resting on the cold surface of an ancient structures of daemonheim, just near the entrance into the hellish dungeons of daemonheim, the chilling wind about the area seems to add a layer of frost to all things within the place and the book would be no exception, its simple brown leather exterior covered in a lite layer of frost.*

-As you open it, you'd find dozens and dozens of pages all covered in its blocky hand written script, you would quickly make your way to the last entry, somewhere in the middle of the book as if almost willed to.-

Journal Entry 207

The air is so cold about here...I've already wasted so much time, I write this quickly as I am going to have to leave it and I fear they may be my last words.

If you reading this, Please Remember me, I am Commander Kane Tyrelen, of the White knights...

To whom it may concern, as I writing this passage I fear it may be my last, I am writing in increments, as I remove my armour, apparently the Masked man was telling the truth, for as I walked towards the entrance to this cave, I was informed I would be allowed to carry little more then the clothes on my back....

Sometimes I wonder, what would have happened if my parents hadn't sent me to the White Castle...if I have become a Winged guardian like them, would it have been different for me? Would I have met a nice woman, settled down, had kids, a life, a family?...

I am sitting here, resting as I contemplate what feels almost like the void, the piercing darkness of this tunnel seems to almost be tainted with something, I can't explain it, maybe its just me...maybe I'm having second thoughts...

Lysia...her soft voice seems to echo in my head, I know I should stop thinking about her, but I cannot, Our time has been so short, I never wanted this, any of it! I simply wanted a normal life, children, a wife that I loved, maybe die in a great final battle with a dragon, or at least in the bed I payed for, that I broke my back serving the order for....

I look back at life just a few months was so different, back when I was a simple Marshall dead set on following every order my Faithful Commander Barked out, when I still had hopes of find that right girl, having that life, I never sought fame, bah! What is fame...nothing...I am a knight that is it, I seek to do my job to the best of my abilities, nothing more, nothing serve my god, and maybe just do enough good to make it on in the next life.

I suppose maybe that's how life is...the masked mans words still ring in my ears..., They won't stop...Destiny! Destiny! there such a thing? Are all my moves already planned out, am I simply a pawn for the gods to play games with?...

Lysia...and yet her as I near the brink of insanity as I stare into the murky abyss known as Daemonhiem, her Name rings out above all the words, all the worry, and the chaos, her name reminds me of my purpose, why I'm here, what I'm doing this for....

This is all for you...

- In rather well made Calligraphy, the final words would be signed. - Commander Kane Quas Tyrelen, Commander of the New Haven White Knights..

The Quest for Kane's Ceremonial Fur Thong.

(This was a roleplay!)

Lysia's face contorted as she'd just about finished hanging the laundry out to dry, Kane's ceremonial fur-thong dangling from her clenched fingers, a disgusted expression overtaking her face. ~I should just throw it out..~ She'd dart her eyes to the lake, wondering if she threw it out far enough, if it'd be lost forever, or wash up on shore. She'd have a lot of explaining to do either way, so with a reluctant heart, she strung it to the line, and walked away. ~Tomorrow...maybe..~ Kane would leer out from one of their many glass windows, his earthy brown eyes watching Lysia with hawk vision as he sat on a wooden chair, embroidered with various cloth patterns, looking far to large for the wooden construction. Kane didn't trust Lysia with that Ceremonial fur thong further then he could throw her, well-...actually-...never mind. Watching her walk away, the imposing, red haired brute would tilt his head back to the table where an ink well, quill, and yellowed parchment lay with the fancy hand writing of a noble printed. He had thought leaving the white knights would have gotten him out of paper work, but -nope- here he was busying over some pointless dribble for the queen and her treasure.

Lysia carried the basket with the already dried clothes back inside, using her back to open the door, and settling it down by the stairway. Her eyes flickered to Kane with a big grin, remembering when she used to help him with his paperwork, and how much hell it was on their fingers. "Y'know, I bet I can still forge your signature just as good as I used to." She'd state, though not offering to help, instead sliding across from him, and folding the laundry over her lap.

Lysia's comment would cause the hulking ginger to grunt in a light chuckle, lifting his gaze away from the parchment, only to curse as he clumsily messed up a sentence he had been writing. "Hell! Aye, bet you can, why don't you come over 'ere and give me a break?" He would retort, crossing out the words that had been ruined, his eyes lingering on Lysia as she started folding laundry.

"If you want to fold laundry, be my guest." She'd offer up a pair of Steele's pants, the knee ripped out. "Ella's been wearing his pants again.." She tutted, as Steele rarely ever got grass on his pants, but Ella had a way of ripping out knees and staining them like it was going out of style.

Outside, If either them were to notice, Three sets of eyes poked over their fence, about ten strides away from the clothing line. Lysia didn't know the faces of the three boys, but Kane might recognize them. He'd been about harassing their families for the last few weeks, and they'd finally decided it was time for some payback.

"Hah! I'll pass, for a second, I thought Steele had started getting manlier, Meh." Kane would quip, clearly not in the mood to do laundry, that wuz 4 women, gosh! No, he was busy doing manly things, like sitting in a chair, which just happened to groan and creak in protest as he leaned forwards to start his sentence a-new, he only had a few more lines and his signature left, then he'd be done for the day.

Sadly, it was not to be, just as he started on the first letter of the sentence, his eyes caught site of something near the fence, his face tensing and creasing as he squinted to make out what he was seeing.

The kids didn't waste any time getting over the fence, each was a young teenager, maybe fifteen or sixteen. One hand a pair of shears under his arm, the other had a bag. The third looked like the most nervous, dancing behind the laundry as they began to pry shirts and pants off, stuffing them in the bag. There eyes went wide as they plucked his ceremonial fur thong off..Looking off to the house, their eyes widening, seeing Kane and Lysia sitting in the window. It paused their laughter, as the one with the shears went to clip the line on one end, most of the clothes still hanging from it, and all three went to cheese it.

Lysia looked up from folding the pants, grinning. "Nope, just Ella-..Did I tell you-..she's been trying to kill the baby ducks...Every time she's out of my sight she wants to murder /something/... I wonder who she gets that from..Hm?" Lysia didn't notice Kane looking out at the boys, just wanting to finish the laundry.

Kane's eyes eyes would widen from their squinted state, his face tensing as he spotted the three boys, his hands, which were now clenching the desk, nearly made a dent in the wood as the vein on his neck started to pulse. "'Ducks-...tha' hell are those boys doing out there!?-...OI! They're stealing our clothes!" Kane's voice would raise to near drill sergeant decibels, as he shoved himself up from his seat, sending the chair skittering backwards into the room. Kane would hurl himself for the door way, intent on dealing with these teenage rabble in the most efficient way possible.

The kids saw Kane stand, and they didn't plan to stick around long enough for him to catch them, jumping over the fence. They were making quite some noise now, yelling and bickering amongst themselves. "RUN! Go!" "My pants caught! My pants are caught!" There was a ripping sound, and the bottom half of his pants was stuck to Kane's fence, and hobbled away, a decent sized cut in his calf, but immediately he went off sprinting with the rest of them. Their fence was unluckily surrounded by a sort of the forest, good cover for the three troublemakers to sprint off into.

Lysia stood up a second later, having winced as he yelled, not expecting that from their quiet home. She'd scramble after Kane, had he started running, she still could manage to keep up with some sort of natural ease. "Wait! What's going on!?"

The in-tempered red haired man would certainly start at a full on dash as he made the back porch, barreling at the boys and their escape over the fence, his arms large arms had already reached out to grab the silly one that had gotten himself caught, only to loose sight of him as he pulled himself free. "Some damn kids just took off with our clothes! That's what, -Woman-! Kane would slow himself as he neared the fence, he knew he couldn't catch him, instead he would take hold of the cloth left behind, and begin to stew.

"Oh-..Kane..don't-.." She'd see his face, knowing he was about to explode, she kept a good distance away, looking off, to watch the boys sprint off, the most nervous one yelling.

"I thought you said he was a bitch cos'?"

"Big sonsa' bitch I meant!"

His cousin would reply, half laughing, but continuing her mad sprint off into the forest.

"Damn it! You better run, ya' bloody scum rats! I'll find your arses, and have your hides for this!" That was the best Kane could come up with as his rage boiled over, his voice causing birds and various forest creatures about. He would start taking in breathes through his nose as he turned around, towards Lysia, throwing the cloth to the ground. "Ya see them! Tha' hell is wrong with kids today?"

Lysia watched Kane scream, her green eyes following the cloth. "This might not be a good time-..But..if we had a dog, we mighta' been able to track them." She'd mutter half under her breath, looking back at the line, the clothes on the ground. But she noticed something vital, blatantly a smile spread across her face. "They got your thong!" She did a little jump for joy, before bursting into laughter. "They got your thong! Hahaha! That's why you're so pissed off. Yes! Finally!"

"A dog!? I a damn mut, pah'! You'd probably have it sitting on a cushion somewhere, eating all my food!" Kane would pace, moving at a hateful speed, before Lysia's words hit him. "M-....Saradomin be damned! They bloody did!" Kane's voice showed no signs of stopping, though he paused in his movement, looking as haughty as ever, he hadn't even caught that his thong had been out there, until now.

"This is all your fault! Why tha' hell did'ja have ta' wash it!? It wasn't dirty, ya' know! I knew a guy that didn't even believe in bathing back at in the barracks, said it made ya' weak! I starten' ta' think he's right." Kane would spout off, continuing his pacing, his knuckles moving into his palms as he continued to stew,he'd find those boys, he'd find his ceremonial thong, and he just might get that dog he had been promising Lysia, though he wouldn't admit that even for all the money in the world. Well, maybe-...Nah'.

"That's why the barracks smelled like balls. And you're too much of a priss to not bath, princess." She'd follow after Kane, grinning all the while as she washed her clothes separately from the kids and Kane's. "They probably left rained last night, the grounds still soppy." She kept easy pace beside him, with an irritating grin. and up beat attitude, she doubt he'd ever get it back.

"Sometimes I wonder why ya' don't just piss off Lysia." Kane would grumble, his arms crossing over his chest as he noticed his wife following right beside him, it midly annoyed him, dipping his head as she mentioned the rain. "Aye, it did, I've tracked worse then three stupid teenagers in the woods. Where my sword!?" Kane would call out, starting with long strides towards the house, it wasn't really a question, since he knew exactly where it was, but he asked the question anyways. He was getting that thong back, if he had to walk around Gilienor twice over.

"Your sword!? They're kids /Kane/." She followed after him eitherway, a cold feeling in her stomach, as she didn't like the idea of him getting his sword to go after a bunch of teenagers. "There parent's will probably make them return them anyway...everyones seen you in your thong enough to know who's it is." She'd take a deep breath, trying to calm that giddy feeling from the idea that she'd never have to see that thong any more. "Can't you leave the sword?"

In the woods, the kids had thought they'd made some distance, panting and leaning against trees, looking around at eachother, disbelieving that they'd done it. They'd shown that prick what happens if he fucks with them. The two boys native burst into laughter, while the nervous one gav ea quiet giggle, looking down at his cut calf, and gulping, He was going to be in some trouble when they got home. He couldn't wait to get out of this town though, hearing the angry Lord yell, and he knew that wouldn't be the end of it.

"Relax, -Woman-, I ain't gonna' use it. Just ta' make 'em soil their skivvies!" He would continue on his way, heading into the house as Lysia kept up with him. He'd turn towards the stairs, he was heading for his private armory, which he had spent more then a pretty penny, even for Kane, having set up. It held all his old things, including his sword and, he'd probably put on the Armadylean armor just to give them an extra scare, taking the first steps up the stairs, still brooding over how he would handle the teenagers once he managed to wrangle them.

How are you going to catch them in /armor/. I know it's a skirt, but /still./" Lysia had her arms crossed over her chest, looking up at him from her unarmored, and danty frame. " Took y'long enough anyway..they're probably halfway to Camelot by now.." His wife wasn't being very supportive, but she didn't want to catch them either way, so what did she care? "What are you going to do, get a horse?"

"Pah! I doubt they've gone that far, an' what do ya' think all this muscles for? Looking good for you? I can bloody damn sprint when I need ta', an' yeah, we got a damn horse." Kane would grunt out, from the top of the stairs, he hardly paid attention to Lysia's less then enthusiastic attitude. He had teenagers to hunt down and scare, and a thong to rescue. It had been ages since he'd been on a quest, and deep down it nearly gave him a twinge of excitement.

"Where are they gonna go? Prolly still in tha' woods thinking they're sneaky, an' if not, I'll ask around tha' village."

" Poor kids better watch out, Commander Pissy Tyrelen's after them." Lysia brushed some of her hair out of her eyes, but she didn't look to be going anywhere, she planned to come. "The woods isn't so big, but there's some pretty dense parts to it..They could still be in there, but I'd be running for the hills if I was them.." Looking out the window, Lysia pursed her lips. "But luckily for you, not everyones as smart as me."

"Aye, they'll be wishing they never set foot on my lawn once I'm done with 'em." Kane would tip his head in a nod, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword, as he walked down the steps, his armor clanking to a happy tune with each step, untill he made it to the bottom. "Don't you have some laundry to fold or something?"

"I can fold it later." She'd state, standing beside him at the base of the staircase. "I want to see how this goes down." She'd give him a bright smile, eyeing him in his armor. They hadn't worn it in a long time, not that she missed it much. Still, they were temple knights, keeping an eye on the ever changing crowns of Ardougne, and making sure nothing too chaotic was to seize the city.

Kane would roll his eyes, the last thing he wanted was Lysia, coming along, but if he didn't have her running her mouth at him when he got back, so for the sake of his balls, he bit cheek and moved towards the door. He'd pause leaning a thick hand on the side, leering out towards the forest where he presumed the stupid teenaged boys were still hiding. "Damn boys, I think I recognized one from one of the farms I just collected taxs from."

Lysia trailed after her husband, as he leaned out the door, she went to slip between him and the doorway, to make her way outside. " Makes sense, you /are/ a big ol' dick to the towns people." She'd state, not being the most supportive of wives, but he could suck it up, she figured. Lysia ran her tongue lightly against her lips, looking back at Kane. "You're getting a horse? Hell, they're gonna' hear you from a mile away. Hope there's a good trail they followed, or your shit out of luck.." Lysia murmured, looking to the forest. She /had/ sorta' taken scout training, and a small portion of that was being able to track. Grinning, she looked back to Kane. "I bet I can find them before you can."

"I neva' said I was taking a damn horse, I know how ta' track idiots, I suppose you might as well make ya' self useful, since you insist on coming. I ain't that bad, townsfolk just like ta' get angry at someone when the city comes knocking for their gold." Kane would rumble off, looking down at his wife before walking towards the fence, his metal Armor clinking with each step, his face slowly hardening as his thoughts moved back to those damn teenagers!

Lysia was light on her feet, walking backwards so she could face her husband. However, she couldn't see when they got close to the fence, stumbling back into mid sentence. "Especially when you practically doubled what the old Lord used to charge, even if he was ready to fall into 'is gra-aaa!" She'd hit the fence, looking about with a bit of embarressment, red flooding her cheeks, before going to instead step in line with her husband, clearing her throat and continueing to talk.

"Grave. They're /still/ going to hear you the second you come within thirty feet of them. All they got to do is climb a tree, and then you're screwed." She'd state, smiling up at him, she however wouldn't be screwed, still able to climb quite well.

Kane's face twitched into a snide grin, watching his wife be herself and bumping into the fence, rolling his eyes once again as she just had to bring up the old lord."Hey, I 'ave a family ta' feed, and appearances ta' keep up." Kane would reach the fence, and nearly effortlessly, swing himself over, he was a baws. "That's what I 'ave you for Love, why else would I bring ya' big Ole mouth along?"

Lysia watched Kane swing over the fence easily. Granted, It was only barely past his waist, for her, it was midway up her belly, and she wasn't known well for her upper body strength. Cussing under her breath she struggled over it, getting her stomach over then summersaulting completely over herself, and landing on the ground with a thud. She should of just used the gate, but that would involve more /walking/. So she picked herself up, rubbing at her back, and looked to her husband. Both eyebrows cast together as she went to walk toward the forest with him. "I don't know, to enjoy my company? Because I said I was going and there's nothing you could of done to stop me either way?"

Kane chuckled to himself as he clinked along after her, planting his left hand on the hilt f his sword, ready to find the pesky teenagers and get his cerimonial fur thong back. "If that's what you want ta' believe, ya' welcome to, now Ya' see any signs of 'em, I know they ran off in this direction."

Lysia shrugged her shoulders as she looked off into the forest, a clear path of trambled leaves and bushes. She raised a slender hand to point toward him, cocking an eyebrow up at her husband as she stepped delicately through the woods. "That count as a sign?"

Kane shrugged, tipping his head in the direction of the most obvious of trails they had left in their mad dash, making a move to walk faster then Lysia, even if he was in heavy armor. He hoped the boys heard his armor, it'd probably scare them more in the first place."Come on then, no point in dilly-dallying, we've got a fur thong ta' save!"

"I hope they burned it by now." Lysia wouldn't let him get infront of her, going to cut infront and keep a quick pace forward, following the trail easily enough as the boys had made no effort to hide it, to concerned with getting away. It wouldn't lead too far, about a mile before it'd open up into a brief clearing.

From several meters away, the two boys sat against the tree, snickering and awaitng their cousin to return from dumping the laundry off in some hole. They both shot up as they heard a loud metallic clank, looking about nervously, the oldest raising his voice. "Davey? That you-...Fuckin' arsehole, if y'trying to scare us it ain't working..quit dickin' 'round, C'mon, we gotta' get home 'fore Ma finds us out." He'd stand, the nervous one twitching a bit and looking from side to side, off to the path where he heard the noise.

Lysia stopped as she heard the boy call out toward them, looking back at Kane, her eyes going wide with a sort of excitement, wondering how her husband planned to deal with this.

Kane's face would have beeds of sweat pouring off it, it was summer after all, and he hadn't been in his armor in years. As Lysia looked back at him, he would stop his heavy gait, running his hand over his forehead and through his sweaty mop of red hair. A sort of sadistic grin crossing his face. After giving Lysia the "shh" sign with his finger over his lips, he'd start moving again, this time continue his metalic gate all the way untill he were visible for the boys, his gauntleted hand coming to rest on the pommel of his sword, spreading his legs wide, which welcomed a -lovely- breath, as he eyed the teenagers from across the clearing. Hoping to let the moment sink in before continuing.

Lysia stepped out of his way, staying quiet and creeping after him. The boys in the clearing were both staring by the time they saw him, both wide eyed and frozen in place, looking at eachother, then to the big armored ginger man, having not expected him to own a set of armor, nor look half as confident wearing it. The nervous one was the first to gain his witt, giving a yell, and going to sprint off into the forest, leaving his cousin for dead, who went to dart forward, and around the tree by Kane. Unluckily for him, he hadn't expected a 5'2" women in his way, just as wide eyed as him as he burst through the trees, tumbling over and onto her. She gave a scream, and pushed him off, the boy flailing and hitting her lightly, confused, and suddenly remorseful because he totally just hit a girl.

"Heyyyyy!" Kane roared as he spotted boys darting off, he watched the one sprint off in the other direction, the other heading right past him, forcing kane to spin and watch as he totally slammed into his wife, taking that momment, to rush over and grab the dimwitted teenager into his grip, pin him to the ground with his arms behind his back like the retired white knight Kane was." Ya' damn kids ain't getting away that easily! Where tha' hell's my Cerimonial Fur thong!?" Kane would bellow out, as he went towards the boy, his neck vien visibly growing larger as he worked himself into a rage, like that was very hard...

"Oooow..." Lysia whined, rubbing at her cheek as he totally smacked her across the face with a half closed fist. She stumbled backwards, sitting on the ground and watching Kane hold the kicking and struggling boy down. He was about sixteen, in that awkward stage where he was more lanky then broad, no match for the grown man as he squeaked and whimpered, shaking his head.

"Ceremonial what now?! Your laundry!? M'brother took y'laundry! He dumped it somewhere, I swears it! Wasn't even my idea to take it! All his idea I jus' came 'long 'cause he asked me too!" The boy pleaded, throwing his brother under the bus easy enough, thinking he was about to get his head lobed of by some enraged Lord. He could get in serious trouble, for stealing from him. He hadn't thought about it, but Kane would have every right given the law, to cut off his hand, if not both of them!

Lysia watched as the boy squirmed and cried, like a lil' bitch, rubbing her jaw, and murmuring.."He hit me..."

"Sit damn still!"Kane would yell with the authority of a police officer. "Right, I'm 'sposed ta' believe ya' brother did all the dirty work and you just meekly came along for the ride!? I used ta' be a stupid teenager once too, ya' know! Damn idiots!" Kane would go to apply more pressure to the boys arm, as he glanced back at Lysia to make sure she wasn't alright, rolling his eyes as she whined, he doubted the kid had down that much damage.

"Ya' alright Lysia?"

"I'm fine...Better then the reaction you gave when that crazy sonsa' bitch broke my nose back in the castle.." She muttered, leaning forward and watching Kane. The kid went still as he commanded him, nodding up and down. "Yeah! Was all 'is idea 'cause he said y'stealin' all the money from 'is pop, and 'bout time someone stole from you." The kid would state, yelping as Kane applied more pressure. " He'll be back if m'cousin don't run into 'um first! I don't know where he put the clothes! We were waiitn' for 'um! He'll be back soon!"

"Aye, ya' better be telling tha' truth...." Kane would state in a lower tone of voice, completely ignoring Lysia. "Here's what I'ma do....You are gonna' go sit out in that clearing, all normal like, an' wait for your brother. When he comes back, you're gonna lead 'em over here, and we're all gonna' have a nice little chat. If you try to run...I will find you, if you try ta' warn him, I will find you. You an' I both know tha' laws around here, Aye?" Kane would say, keeping the same amount of pressure has he had ealier, awaiting a response from the kid.

The boy nodded, his gut flipping at the threats, still squirming a bit beneath Kane's arms as he stared out toward the clearing, wanting to be free, but having the sense not to run off. He didn't doubt the man would find him, he had no where to go but home, and being the Lord of Hemenster, he probably would remember the face. Looking about, he'd take a deep breath, nodding once more. "Yeah-..I'll-..I'll do that-..Jus' don't cut off m'hand...An'..She said castle? Y'from Ardougne?" He figured with the armor, he must of been some sort of knight, the everyday Nobleman couldn't don a chestplate, and a sword and be able to chase after a group of teenagers.

He was a bit curious, wondering who the hell he'd chosen to steal laundry from, he wondered if he used to be a knight to the King, or something of the sort. "Y'use to guard the king?" Noble sons could become knights, maybe he retired or something, though he didn't seem so old 'imself.

Kane would answer with slowly moving off the boy, standing back up to his full height, eyeing the boy like a hawk, in the case he was dumb enough to run off. "Eh? Pah', I ain't ever been a knight O' Ardougne. Servered tha' White Order in Falador, Commanded a regiment." Kane's forehead would crease, he hadn't thought about of that stuff in a while, and he had good reason not to."Anyways! Get your arse off into that clearing, I don't want your stupid brother showing up with out his beloved brother ta' greet him."

The boy paled a bit, as he'd chosen to fuck with probably the only Ex-Commander of the highly revered White Knights of Faladors this side of the White Wolf Mountains. Nodding he hurried, a bit more eager to get out of Kane's reach, moving to the clearing, and sitting down on a rock, both fingers nervously twining, his dark eyes constantly flickering to where Kane was.

Lysia came to stand up behind Kane, cocking her head up at him, and brushing a hand through her blonde hair. Her jaw felt a bit numb, being swollen and the woman's voice was a bit off, "Y'shhhure Shcared him, dear." She pursed her lips once more, at the sound of her own voice, and touched her jaw, a tiny bruise forming, the real damage was the fact that she bit down on the inside of her cheek. "Looksh 'bout ready to pissh 'imshelf."

"Hah! That was tha' plan, what the hell is wrong with your voice? Ya' sound like you have a lisp..." Kane would chuckle as quietly as he droning voice could, which wasn't that quiet. Kane would press himself against a tree, keeping a leery gaze on the nervious lad as he awaited the brother to return. "Keep ya' voice down, Don't want tha brat ta' find out we're here if he comes back."

"What if he comesh thish way?" She'd murmur, blonde eyebrows pressing together as he laughed at her voice, "It'sh 'caushe you didn't defend my honor, and let the kid shlap me crossh the face wid' hish fisht" She looked up to her husband, scolding him for being bad at being a man, and not protecting his wife with every fiber in his very being. She'd forced two more footballs out of her for him! Least he could do is keep teenagers from punching her across the mouth, C'mon now, what are all those muscles for? Apparently not looking good for her, /Or/ defending her.

"Oh, I'm sure even you could take that lanky mess of hormones, don't-....Shhh! I think he's coming, that damn brat better lead him over here, or I'ma' be pissed!"Kane would action for lysia to hush waving his hand up and down, leering out from the cover of the brush. Kane's eyes none to happy as he awaited his pray to fall into his trap.

Lysia quieted, glaring at her husband, he was right, the bushes off to the side of them began to ruffle as a cocky teen stepped through, grinning hugely and holding up his empty hands. " Got rid' of them! They'll never get 'um back from where /I/ put them." He managed to admit to his crime proudly, right infront of the ginger Lord in the bushes. His brother stared at him wide eyed, trying to keep from looking toward Kane, and a cold feeling settling deep in his gut.

"Where'd y'put 'um..?" He'd ask, going to stand, his eyes close to the ground, his voice a little shakey and nervous.

His brother sensed the tension, and cocked his head, stepping easily toward him. " What's wrong Rye? An' I put 'um in an /active/ Goblin cave! Right at the gate, the lil' green shits 'ill have 'um all across Kandarin by the end of tonight! Ha!"

Rye took a deep breath, raising his pale face to his brother, as he totally just screwed the both of them. He thought about running, but maybe he could stilllive if he turned his brother in. Standing up, he went to take his brother tight about the shoulder. Tye was older, about seventeen or eighteen, a cocky grin on his face as his brother went to lead him toward Kane and Lysia, "Look..Tye..."

Kane had heard the whole conversation, his face turning a dark red, as anger swept through his whole being once more, he managed to contain it as the two boys started in his direction, holding back the urge to punch the closest thing to him, which was a poor, innocent, life giving Oak Tree. Oh no, instead he remained still, waiting for the boy to lead in brother into his clutches, he had half a mind to have his hand cut off, his right, just to ruin the rest of his teenagehood, but no even Kane wasn't that bad. He'd scare the boy and find out just where he'd put his clothes.

Tye was built bigger then Rye too, looking back at his younger brother with a dark eyebrow raised, wondering what had him acting all weird as he rounded about the tree, going still as he saw the big, armored, Lord of Hemenster, his wife standing behind him, watching him with a sort of pissed off expression, some of those outfits were Ella's and cute as fuck! The boy, would be more of a fight then his brother, tensing rather then screaming, and narrowing his eyes as he shoved his brother away. "You lil' traitor! I'll fuckin' strangle you!"

"Haha, damn right he is! Kane would lower his head, like a bull preparing to charge, he was a baws, and he knew it. Completely out matching the hotshot teenager, his hand would once more rest for only a split second on the pommel of his sword, before he'd clench his gauntleted fists together."What you think you can take me, ya' little punk?" Kane would glare, taking deliberate steps towards the teenager.

"I'm pissed off as it is, with you idiots stealing ma' clothes, and then I go and hear you threw it to some damn, green skinned goblins? Maybe I'll tax ya' family double next time around, eh?"

“Tye- Don't, he used to be a White Knight!" His brother would call from the side, as his brother tensed, being a testosterone filled man as well, though even he realized he wasn't about to win against a 6'4", fully armored man. He chewed on his lips and eyed Kane, keeping the arrogant look as his eyes flickered down to his gauntlets. He took a step back as he stepped forward.

"What, y'gon' use gauntlets? Fuckin' cheap...kick y'ass eitherway!" He would call out cockily, his brother going wide eyed, even Lysia getting a bit nervous, as she never knew her husband to step down from a challenge, especially one he knew he could win. She tried to step in before they'd have kid missing most of his teeth to explain.

"Hey, Kid. If you want to be able to chew your own food, I'd shut your freakin' mouth before he breaks your jaw." She'd call, being more serious then threatening, but the boy just glared at her, being a real doucher.

"Piss off." He'd say, clenching his own fists and watching Kane, thought mentally he regreted it, and wanted to run for the hills, but his damn ego got in the way.

"Oi! Watch what ya' say at my wife, damn punk! Ya' think I need gauntlets ta' tear you a new hole? Hah!" Kane would growl, his own testoreone reaching mantastic levels. He would fiddle with the clasps on his gauntlets, eyeing the boy with a hateful grown, the sound of chain metal clinking to the ground and he pul both gauntlets off, exposing his fists. He'd show this little brat who's boss, probably end up making his parents life better after all of this, what a kind and generous person the Lord of Hemester was.

"Kane-..He's just a kid-..You can't-.." Lysia would mutter, turning around, and placing herself between Kane and the boy, though she wasn't much of an obstacle. Looking nervously down at his fists, she looked back to the boy, half hoping he'd gain some sense and go running. She would have to spend the rest of the night talking Kane down from marching to his house and settling it on their front lawn either way. It was a new experience for Lysia, Kane usually the more level headed of the two, and often he was the one advising her against stupid things. Now she had to be the adult, and try to keep her husband from beating some eighteen year olds ass. Listening to the boy, she realized how her father must of felt, dealing with a punkass kid all the time.

The kid watched, realizing Kane was serious about this, his stomach twisted into a tight knot, and his balled fists loosened. Taking a deep breath, he puffed out his chest and tightened them once more, being about eight inches shorter then Kane, and seventy pounds lighter. As well as Kane being armored, he'd only have the option to go straight for the face, but he didn't imagine the man to punch much lower then his own throat. He had gotten himself into a real tight situation, but it was too late now to do much more then roll with the punches. "Aww you piss off to, you fuckin' greedy thief, takin' all the peoples money so you can sit on y'lazy arse all day!"

"I damn care if he's a kid, Lysia!" Kane would turn his attention to his wife, he wanted to put the punk in his place, his fingernails digging into his palms as he began to argue with his wife.

At the sound of the boys voice, Kane would turn his stoney bronw gaze back on the kid, his jaw tightened as he prepared to kick the kids arse."Theif!? I'm doing the same damn job that those hoity-toity nobles down in Ardougne would have some other slackjacked dolt doing, for half tha' price(/Riiight/)." Kane would go to push his wife out of the way if she were there, raising his fists in the air, and taking the most manly of fisticuff positions, he'd duke it out like a man with this little douche and shove some respect down his throat.

"C'mon ya' little arse, lets see what'cha made of!"

Lysia would be shoved to the side, crossing her arms and looking up at Kane as he was about to fight with the kid, she didn't much want to see it. Neither did the kid, as Kane came closer, he raised his own fists, going to take a step forward, but a second later, he turned fully around, and sprinted off into the forest. It was the smartest thing he'd done all day, his brother scrambling after him, this time steering clear of Kane and Lysia.

The burly voice would roar out as he started jeering the boys as they ran off, lowering his fists."Hahah, that's right, run back home to ya' parents, I'll make sure ta' let 'em know what ya' little punks did, don't you damn worry!" Kane was an awful person, turning to Lysia, as if expecting her to actually do something. "'Ey', why don'tcha go be useful an' chase after 'em?"

"Want me to fist fight 'um while I'm at it?" She'd reply sarcastically, keeping lazily slouched against a tree as she stared up at Kane. When they met, she wasn't much older then Tye, she realized. " Was I that big of a punkass when we met?" She'd comment, thinking back to her years as a scout, and shaking her head, "Na'...I woulda' actually fist fought you, wouldn't I pissy?" She'd begin to turn toward the path that led back home, expecting Kane to follow, totally hoping to forget his fur thong in the goblin den, and that the whole ordeal would blow over.

"Pah', I knew ya' wouldn't help....You were double as bad as he was, thing is, you have boobs, so it was different." Kane would eye Lysia, particuarlly as she started walking off, he on the other hand would bend down, picking up his gauntlets, and start putting them back on. "An' where do ya' think you're going, eh? Ya' heard the punk, he threw the clothes down some goblin hole...."

"A /goblin hole/. What do you expect to do? Go get them?" She'd turn around in the path, giving him her best sass pose, both hands on her hips, leaning onto one leg and cocking her head in disbelief at him. At first, she thought he was joking, staring at her cheap scat husband..but it only took a couple seconds of hard staring for her to realize he was being serious. Lysia took a deep breath, and reluctantly walked toward him, muttering beneath her breath. "Is it really that important? I don't even got anything to smack 'um with if they get too close.."

"Course it's damn important, I don't give a crap if you didn't bring anything, find a stick or something. That stupid kid couldn't have ran to far off, I watched were he came from...I want those clothes back...." Kane would say, testing the fit of his gauntlets, then heading into the clearing, peering into yet more forest, where the stupid kid had left a pretty visable trail to where they had to go.

Lysia growled as her husband dismissed her like that, picking up a half rotten stick from the ground before scrambling after him. She stuck close, goblins were nasty fuckers if you let them get to close, and being he was the one with the sword, she didn't want to get seperated. "You're crazy, you know that? If you think /I/ was bad for ziplining off the top of the castle, you're insane for going straight up to a goblin cave! You're going to get us both murdered." She whispered from behind him, standing as close as she could without stepping on the back of his heels, and looking off behind her constantly, not liking the idea of being roasted over a goblin fire any more then the next person. Kane shrugged his shoulders at Lysia, He knew what he was doing, and besides, his fur thong was at stake! Without even answering his wife, he'd take his heavy steps into the brush, following the teens path with relitive ease, the signs...and smells of goblin territory slowly errupting into their presence. The signs would only grow in obviousness, untill the two came to an earthen opening. "Ya' smell that? That's goblin crap..." The retired knight would squint into the darkness like the try hard he was. "I ken' sense 'em near."

"...You're kidding me-..right?" Lysia growled from beside him, looking down into the cave before shuddering lightly.She lifted her feet to check and make sure she didn't step in any of the goblin crap, her eyes narrowed. "That's disguisting-..We aren't going in there, /right/?" The fisure's enterance was empty, the small three towed feet of the goblins leading into it, well trampled and marked with odd animal sculls and fragments of cloth. His wife shook her head irritably, staring into the dark hole, praying to any god that might be listening that her husband was sane enough to stay away.

"I can like make you /another/ or something-...It's not that big of a deal!"

"The hell I am, We're going in there an' getting our clothes back! I don't want your damn pity thongs! That was given ta' me by the chief himself, now c'mon!" Kane was still bitter, and he hardly enjoyed going into small tunnells filled with smelly, stupid, -Goblins- himself, but fur thong! "I thought ya' middle name was danger, eh?" Kane would comment snidely, hunching down, the heat, coupled with the increased stench and smoke belching out of the cave, forcing the red haired man to fight his natural desire to retch. He was a battle trained baws, and he was on a mission to get his Cerimonial Fur thong Back!

"My middle name /is/ Danger!" She'd reply, her own ego flaring up as as he challenged her, going to follow in line after him. She didn't even need to hunch over in the cave, carrying the stick over her shoulder and following after him in the crampness, which evantaully gave in to a higher ceiling, the tunnel breaking off into several different ones, some odd glowing fungus being the only light. "It smells like shi-.."

She'd be interupted when a fugly ass goblin poked his head from the darkness, giving a high pitched shriek as he saw two /humans/ in his cave. His eyes darted around, from within the cave, dozens of beady eyed, green skined, creatures began to emerge, each either screaming or pulling a makeshift weapon as they surrounded the humans, some carrying torches and casting a red light over their dirty, half clothed bodies. Lysia's eyes went wide as she practically jumped onto Kane, moving to press her back into him and hold the stick shakily, as they were outnumbered 20 to 2. " Kaaane.." She'd whisper, thinking this might be their last moment, mauled by a horde of goblins.

Kane's stomach crawled at the sound of the goblins shriek, followed by the filing out of the rest of the goblin residents. "Gah', damn it Lysia! Nearly knocked my sword from my hand!" Kane would whisper hoarsely, his body having been jarred ever so slightly, as he went for the pommel of his sword, he'd kill every one of the piles of green snot if he had to. The ringing of metal being pulled from its sheathe, would signal Kane steading himself, tensing his muscles into a defensive position. "This is why I brought armor, and a -sword-." Kane would comment snidely, his stoney gaze never leaving the surrounding goblins.

The goblins stumbled back as he drew his sword, knowing well what one of those meant. They stared up at him, more confused then vicious. Lysia looked at them all, with a terrirfied expression as they murmured amongst themselves, none moving forward as more of their numbers began to multiply. "Well I don't have anything-.." His wife commented, in an old dress, and holding a rotten hunk of wood. She might be able to stand one goblin, but beyond that she was screwed.

Briefly, the goblin discussed amongst themselves, snorting and grunting as most of their most /sophisicated/ language was made of such, before a speaker was chosen, and pushed toward Kane. With a high pitched, nasally voice, he spoke in broken common, staring up at the red headed knight looking ready to scurry back with the rest, "What human want?"

Kane would raise his chin high, he was born and raise a noble, and he had the ego to uphold the family pride. His sword would lower ever so slightly, letting his eyes fall on the speaker goblin. "I want my damn fur thong back!" Kane would state firmly, and well....plainly, being completely serious, as he kept his firm footing, half expectig the stupid buggers to start attacking because everyone knew goblins were mindless beasts...duh!

The goblin stared at him, a gnarled hand raising to scratch as his bald head, thinking the words over, "Fur...thong?" He didn't understand a word, looking back at the masses of other goblins, who shrugged and grunted amongst themselves, trying to figure out what he was talking about. The speaker turned back toward him after a couple minutes debating it, and shrugged. "No Fur thong...What Fur thong?" He looked toward Kane, disregarding the green eyed woman at his elbow, constantly looking back at his brethren who surged closer every chance they got

. "....." Kane should have known better then to expec the goblins to know what he was blathering on about, but-...he was Kane. "Damn' clothes! Some damn teenagers threw some clothes in ya' smelly hole, an' I want 'em back!" Kane nearly ruptured a vein as he went on, his eyes carefully watching the goblins, sweat forming under his sword hand. "Don't ya' damn goblins wear underwear? It's like that!"

"Oooooooooooh, cloothes!" The goblins all nodded in agreement, understanding what he was talking about. If he looked amongst them, some were already wearing their clothes, Ella and Steele's clothing fitting them well enough. One had a pair of underwear atop his head, his pointed ears poking out from the leg holes. But none had his fur thong. "Goblins have clothes!" He smiled, nodding proudly toward the rest of them....confused by his last he put /two/ words he understood together. "Under..wear.." To prove that he /didn't/ the Goblin lifted up his long shirt, Lysia closing her eyes as shaking her head.


"Hell, looks like all those jokes were true..." Kane comment drly, as the goblin showed himself to the two."Put ya damn wanker away, -My- clothes! Like those!" Kane would point to the goblin with underwear on his head. "Clothes like that, wiiithh, Fur...animal hide.." Kane would add emphasis in awful places, trying to get his point across, gesturing wildly, and hilariously as he tried to get the goblins to understand.

"....Oooooh! /Hat/ you mean! Fur Hat? King of Goblin has Fur hat!" He finally understood, nodding, all the other Goblin's 'Ooooh'ing right along with him as they nodded and smiled the entire time. "She won't give back. You has to /take/ it." Around him, the goblins snickered, as if this was something hilarious about the idea of him taking the Fur Hat back from their King.

"She?" Lysia whispered toward Kane, looking around in the darkness and still clinging to his side. "I thought they said their King.."

Kane's face sort of blanched as he contimplated the situation, he should have punched that kid in the face when he had the chance. "....She, right...Who has the damn 'Hat' an' where can I get it back?" Kane really couldn't care care less for any of this, but he had to play along until he spotted his fur thong.

At the same time, Kane would go to elbow Lysia, wanting her to simply shut up so he could hear the broken sentences of the snot faced runts.

Lysia growled as Kane elbowed her, going to draw an arm and punch him back, but stopping, reminding herself he was fully armored. ~You win this one /Kane/.~ It was a close call for Lysia, who'd of broken her fist probably, not that she had a particularly strong swinging arm. But she didn't have notorious luck either.

The Goblins nodded, beginning to clap and grin as they looked at Kane, the ones behind him surging forward and moving to push and prod at him. Lysia eeped loudly, instead of punching her husband going to cling onto him again as she too was pushed at Goblins, the ones in front of them parting down a certain, dark, path, and going to lead the two toward their King.

The caves would be long, water dripping from the ceiling and running down the walls. Soon, there would be torches lighting the way as they approached a massive main chamber, filled with more green skinned vermin. A massive table, made up of many smaller tables, one looking suspiciously like the one that was stolen from their house in Hemenster. Though there was no time to dwindle observing the table as possibly the largest goblin known to man stood at the end of the hall, snorting on fiendish laughter, and with Kane's ceremonial fur thong right over her greasy, pig tailed, head. Yes, it was a woman..A fat, broad, pig faced woman. But a woman indeed! She had over her chest a half assembled breast plate, meant for a man of Kane's stature, but being too small for her. She had an assortment of metal platings covering odd places of her body, large skins of animals covering the rest. Across her chest, a beaded strand of sculls, off all assortments. Birds, deer, and frighteningly, a human scull dangled, jawless and black eyes staring off into oblivion.

She looked up as her many goblin minions brought the two in, grunting in a most manly of fashions, and looking as the goblin speaker came forward, seeming to know what she was asking before she had to think the words.

"King! Human want fur hat! He say his!" The goblin stated, pointing toward the burly red head and his terrified wife, who was beginning to breath heavy through the stench, staring up at the goblin King.

"Hat Mine. He fight me for hat!" She'd growl, dismissing the speaker with a swat of her beefy hands, and standing. With another grunt, she pulled out a brutish club from leaning against the table, sharp objects stabbed through it, her beady black eyes so deeply set into her green scull, she barely seemed to be looking at Kane as she glared from across the room. "Fight human!"

Kane's breathing also, grew heavier as the sight of the goblin 'king' drew into focus. "By tha' gods-...the hell is that thing!? That ken't be a damn goblin!" His voice would come out in a strained whisper to Lysia, he had not counted on this, if any he expected some runty goblin leader that had figured out how dumb his kin were and tricked them into leading them.

Instead, Kane was standing before a goblin nearly his size and girth, and secretly, deep...deep, deeper...wayy downnn deep, he was just slightly fearful of his life. "Oi! That's ma' Ceremonial fur thong, if ya' be wanting ta' fight me for, it, then I damn will carve ya' arse with ma' blade!" Kane's voice would rise from a near choke, which he hoped none had noticed, building in momentum until echoed defiantly across the cavern.

The goblin burst into a deep rumble of laughter, the goblins about her too laughing as they began to clear the floor, climbing on tables and chairs to enjoy the view. The speaker stayed in the middle of the floor, twiddling his fingers, and looking to the King. "This mean I favorite?" He'd ask hopefully, all the other male goblins snorting and booing from the tables.

The Goblin queen grinned her yellow, sharp teeth down at the goblin man, who brightened a bit by that. " You near top!" She decided, the goblin nearly leaping for joy as they were all competing for the honor of bedding this fine beauty. He then scurried off as the Goblin queen regarded Kane cruelly. "Human fight? Too easy! Small human fight /too/. " She glared at Lysia who gave a startled look back, looking up to Kane, and letting her hollow piece of dead wood tumble to the floor, the goblins cackling about them as that was the oldest trick in the book! Make /Both/ human fight, Hilarious!

"Kaaaane." She'd whimper up toward her husband, both eyes wide as she hadn't done anything close to fighting since she kicked Hera's ass. Which she'd been a total boss at, mind you. She looked toward the goblin King, and spoke finally toward her. "I can't fight, it wouldn't be fair, I don't have a weapon!" She'd smile, thinking this might get her out of it before the brutish creature nodded her meaty head to the side, and one of the goblins scurried out and dropped a flail look device at her feet. "Oh...Shit.." Lysia muttered, having been given a weapon, she went to lift it, grunting as the weighted end dragged to the ground, barely able to get the ball up. "Kane..please tell me this is easy to use.."

Kane's eyes slid from side to side as the goblins scurried for the spectacle that was a bout to unfold. As the goblin messenger questioned the King, Kane slid his feet into an offensive stance, both hands gripping his blade in a hand-and a-half stance, his eyes falling on Goblin Female, though Lysia' ruined that focus just as quickly as he had come. His stony gaze slide to Lysia, and the flail that had been thrust at her feet, releasing a sigh as she quizzed him on the weapon.

"'Course they'd give -you- a where ya' damn swing that thing, it's easy ta' hit ya' self with it!" He would chide to his wife, whom he had little faith in being much use in the very real fight for their life that was coming up.

Lysia looked up at him, stumbling to keep it up, as the goblin King busied herself cracking every bone in her body, a disgusting display as she hefted up her club, grinning madly at the two humans, a large stone being pushed by a whole score of goblin in front of the doorway, so they didn't go running.

"So pretty much-..ditch the flail and stay out of the way?" She'd murmur up to her husband, dancing around, she could manage that, being light on her feet. "Did you bring like a dagg-..Just keep it..I'm just going to try and keep my careful..By the gods-.." Lysia felt her throat swell up as she realized the gravity of the situation, but taking a deep breath, she readied herself, figuring she could at least outrun a big clumsy thing. The Goblin King nodded as she stood up, at her full height, she was at least a full foot taller then Kane. "I ready!" She'd state, and without further warning, give a tremendous war cry, charging full on toward Kane, roaring the whole way as she hefted up her large spiked club, and went to bring it down toward him.

Kane had little time to respond to Lysia, his attention turning back to the goblin queen, doing nothing more then tip his head at what could be likely be considered a "yes", fortunatly for Kane, he still kept up with his daily workouts. As the goblin queen came charging at him, what a sight that was, Kane went to veer to his right, and thrust forwards towards the Goblin queens stomach, both hands adding to the force of the Assault.

" Damn green wench, I'm got twins ta' raise!" He would roar, his only battle cry as he launched his assult.

The Goblin king grunted as she swung her club into the ground, his sword making a metallic ring as it bounced off the metal covering her stomach, slidding off it and knicking the metal. But the thick skin beneath it was fine. Lysia on the other hand, took the more heroic method of getting the fuck out of there, scrambling to the side and making her way about the room to keep her distance from the Goblin king, a few spectators jeering and yelling as Kane evaded her attack. The goblin king let one hand release the club as she went to bring an oversized, meaty hand and backhand Kane. The other worked at pulling the spiked club free of the ground, a loud growl ripping her lips.

Kane smirked for nearly a second, before the greasy hand of the goblin King, sent the 6'4, red headed brute sprawling across the dirt floor of the cavern, his blade clinking to the ground a foot or two from his hands, a line of blood snaking a river down his chin, as he tried to gather the air back in his lunges. After a moment he'd push himself onto his hands and knee's shooting a quick glance at the Goblin King, before going to half hobble, half stumble his feet, and grab for his sword.

Lysia gasped as Kane was thrown across the room, giving the King plenty of time to pull up her club, and begin her long walk toward him, laughing the entire time as she went to raise her club up. She paused as a rock hit her upset the head. A green eyed woman looking about ready to piss herself as the creatures attention span faded, and she turned toward her. Grunting, she began to saunter toward Lysia and get rid of one destraction first. Lysia however, ran, screaming bloody murder, across the room as the goblin chased after her. "No run! No run! Cheater!" She yelled, unable to truly keep up with all her armored, and the heavy club. She totally had forgoten about Kane, who Lysia was counting on to keep her from getting smashed to bits.


The window Lysia provided was more then enough for Kane to Gather his wits, Scanning the large Cavern as he grabbed his barrings, Lysia's Screaming envoked, that manly, sorta', husbandy side of him. His grip tightening on his sword, as he released a mantastic battle roar to rival that of a dwarf. Charging for the back of the goblin 'King', raise his blade high as he neared the hulking green Goblin.

"Damn it, Lysiaaaaa!"

This didn't stop his wife from flailing and screaming as she sprinted around, the goblin chasing after her with all the grace of a handicapped toddler. The goblin paid him no mind as she continued after his wife, who was nearing the bouldered off part of the cavern, and having little room to turn, so she skidded to a halt, and hoped for the best. The goblin King however, also stopped, laughing too soon as she held her club over her beafy shoulder. Kane had a clear shot at her back, unprotected by anything as she thought herself too clever to let her foe get behind her. "Human scream funny. Again!" Lysia blinked, as she turned to face the sizable goblin, having plenty of scream left and the goblin heaved with laughter.

" I crush, not kill, so you scream longer!" She said, delighted, as if she was rewarding Lysia with the prospect of a slow, painful death and suffering. The woman paled even more as her stomach tied in the knot, the goblin preparing to raise her club up.

Kane had hoped that the stupid beast wouldn't turn, though grabbing her attention had been the orignal plan. In a split second, never slowing his gait, kane dashed, and then lept towards the back of the goblin King, His left going to wrap around the neck of the goblin, his right hand having expertly, manuvered the sword in his hand, into an underhanned grip, all the better to ram into the flesh of the goblins shoulder and back.

"Get away from my wife, ya' bloody goblin wench!" Kane would once again roar, he wasn't the best at making one liners, like he cared, he was Kane Quas Tyrelen, and he has Twins to raise!

The Goblin King have a deafening scream of her own, a horrid sound, ear splitting as blood gushed from the wound and down her back, probably staining Kane's armor as she bucked and tried to throw him off. Her club fell to the ground once more and her hand viciously beat back at him, having a sword lodged through her shoulder, leaving her main arm dead, limp at her side. In remorse, the goblin king fought with her other long nailed, beefy hand. She screamed all the while, the goblins around them raising, staring with wide bulging eyes as their queen was injured.

Kane's ears felt like they were near read to pop at the resound of the goblins horrendous shriek, though he knew what was to come next, and held tighter to the goblins neck, going to swing more towards the side of the dead arm, hopefully making it that much harder to reach for that hideous long nailed Hand.

"Lysia!" Kane would shout through grunts as he tussled with the shrieking goblin King. "Get-...ah'..! Get tha' da-...Get tha' Flail an-!!!" Kane's words would continue to be cut off, as he went to grab the hilt of the blade he had burried in the goblins arm, and pull it out for another stab at the place betweent the goblins neck and chest.

Lysia was stunned for a second, blood splattering across her face as her husband stabbed the goblin, being flung around on her back. She acted without really thinking, adrenaline pumping behind her ears and fueling her for action as she sprinted across the room, and hefted up the flail with little resistance this time, her husband needed her, and she couldn't leave him for dead on the back of that creature. She hurried back, the King screaming even more as his blade slid out, feeling her blood hot, and fighting for survival, but she couldn't shake him free. His blade stuck deep into her chest, another scream ripping past her ears, all this over a /thong/ was too much. But the creature was obviously weakened now, by the time Lysia returned, her eyes wide at her husband for what he wanted the flail for. She figured /he/ wanted to use it!

By this time, Kane himself was drenched in blood, the beautiful Aradmylian metal work, dripping with drop of the goblins thick blood. "Just die already, ya' damn goblin!" Kane's voice, now hoarse would continue to shout, as he continued to fight to stay out of harms way, and on the weakening goblin King.

"Lysia! Did ya' get that yet!??!? Break its knee's or something, Gods be damned, ya' bloody helpless, ya' are WOMAN!" Kane's voice would shout out, he had no idea where his wife was, because -He- was busy, you know, fighting to keep his numbing arm around the thick neck of the reeking goblin King, as it tried to pull him off like an insect and step on him.

A beacon of feminist fire alit in the woman, Lysia was /almost/ offended by that. But once looking at the goblin that was practically twice her size, she realized Kane was damn right she was bloody helpless! But either way, she'd take a deep breath, and go to swing the flail like one might swing a bat, the round end of the ball extending and dragging the woman along with the force, but the chain did hit into the Goblins thighs, crushing into the metal and bending it, as well as her bones. She heaved forward with a final cry, Lysia brought to her own knees, to find five hundred pounds of fat and muscle thrown on top of her, along with an extra two hundred of her husband as she grunted, halfway squished under the bloody mess of a goblin queen. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

FINALLY! Lysia did something -Useful-, unfortunately for Kane, this sent him crashing into the bloody mass of greasy, green skin. Sending a dust cloud high into the dusty cavern, whose floor, only the gods knew was covered in.

"Warhhhh!" He yelled, adding to the weight of the goblin before rolling off the green form and once again sprawling onto the ground, which this time was a pool of goblin blood and dirt...oh how much fun he would have cleaning his armor later.

Lysia kicked her feet, breathing heavily as she was trapped under the goblin, blood soaking her once /almost/ pristine dress. It used to be completely clean before Marshal threw up on it, or Ella spoon catapulted a meatball onto it, or Steele rubbed his snotty nose on it. Oh the joys of children! Now it was blood soaked, and she was trapped under a goblin.

All around, the goblins gathered, breathing heavily and staring at the two with their beady eyes. One might think there was tension in the air, but then, the speaker stood from now where, and yelled. "Human! New Queen of the goblin!" They all looked amongst each other, before shrugging, and raising their hands to Kane, chanting. "Huuman! Queen of goblins! Human Queen of goblins!" They rushed forward in their masses to go and /lift/ him from the ground, and above themselves, their proclaimed king, chanting and going to pass him about.

Kane hardly had a chance to move, if he even could, his body ached from what had just occurred, though he did manage to let out a quick. "Ah' by tha' damn gods...what did I do ta' deserve this!" As he was hefted up by the goblins, his eyes looking back at the head of the dead goblin "king" which held his fur thong still atop its head, and of course, Lysia who was still buried underneath it."

The goblins went about retrieving his wife, and more importantly, his thong off of the old King's head. Hefting up Lysia, they carried her toward Kane, her blonde hair stained with blood, eyes wide and frightened as she looked about. Somehow, someone tried to pull the thong over his head as well, as a crown, continuing their chanting until they lead Kane to a throne like chair at the table, and went to dump his clumsily into it. Lysia would just be dropped on the ground, rubbing at her head.

And then, something beautiful happened...The goblins pushed out a keg of beer, and hefted it up onto the table before Kane, to toast to the Queen, huzzah!

Kane was dazed and bloody as he now sat on what ever gods awful place was now his throne. With glazed eyes flicked to where Lysia was now plopped on the ground, he hardly even noticed the thong now atop his head. It would be hard for even his own mother to recognize the Lord of Hemester, his face covered in black dirt, and blood.

Nearly swollen from the battering he had taken, his armor fared no better, covered in the same dirt and blood, it's once reflective surfaces, now dulled and grungy. At the sight of the Keg, everything seemed to brighten, was that his table form years ago? Kane hadn't the strength to care, was that one of his bear kegs, he had hidden in one of the sheds on the estate earlier this month, Kane didn't have the energy to care, Either.

All that mattered is his wife was alive, he had his Fur Thong back, and there was Beer, BEER!

"Move Over.." Lysia whispered, having crashed just as he had, but hadn't brightened at the sight of beer. She tried to climb into the throne like chair with him, the others all occupied by shit smelling goblins. They grinned at Kane, seeing as he was pleased with their offering, one of the more 'clean' goblins cracked open the top, and

Kane's feeling sexy.

Kane in his ceremonial fremmenik fur thong.

dipped a glass mug in, setting it down before Kane, and dipping another in, and giving in to Lysia. The rest of them passed around mugs of cheaper liquors, and they began to conversate amongst themselves and their new glorious


The goblins seemed almost civilized, except for the whole, half naked part. Scurry from the benches, would be the speaker goblin, cocking his head up

at Kane, he'd ask the same question he'd asked the Queen. "Me favorite?"

Kane's Personal Armoury

While Kane is no longer a knight, he has kept many of his possesions from his younger days. They can be seen displayed on the Lord Tyrelen's Estate, though it's unlikely he'd allow someone to see his mantastic room, filled with the glory of his days gone by.

  • One White Sword
  • One Suit of White Knight Armour (Made to perfect fit)
  • Plate-/Skirt/, crafted with cloth and chainmail of Armadylean Metals and smithed by the Icyene Scion
  • Platebody, crafted with Leather and Armadylean Metals and also smithed by the Icyene Scion
  • Gauntlets with hidden claws which extend when the user chooses
  • A tomahawk throwing axe, a personal favorite of Kane's
  • A tower shield with the star of Asgarnia imprinted upon it.


  • Chances are he hates you.
  • He hates almost all animals besides the kitten known as Cistya.
  • He's very much obessed with his physical appearance, causing him to spend hours focusing upon improving his body.
  • He's a perfectionist.
  • He did not see his parents for 18 years.
  • In his early days a young knight he worked as a dancing White Knght at the party rooms to help pay for his armour.
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