User blog:LeoMyDears/RS RP Interviews: Mohave Ahkran A.K.A Peter

 *The Interviewer smirks as he crosses one leg over the other, scribbling in his notebook.*

'''Welcome to RS RP Interviews Mohave Ahkran A.K.A Peter! Would you like a cup of tea, Mohave?... Or should I say Peter?!'''

No thanks on the tea, and either Mohave or Peter work, I tend to go by both these days depending on who I am with! I'm glad to be here. *Peter gave a small smirk, sitting back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest.*

' *The Interviewer chuckles, slapping his own knee as he drops a lump of sugar into his own cup.* ''So, Pete-y, where were you born? The Varrockian slums, the Kharidian desert? How was life growing up?'''

Where did I grow up? To be honest, I couldn't really tell you. I was a slave in the Kharid, moved around camps in the desert and never met my parents. So as you can imagine, life was tough. Not that I complain, mind you, it made me the man I am today. *If only for added effect, Peter pulled his shirt aside some, so show the slave branding on his chest.*

' *As he sips his tea the Interviewer cringes, pulling a face.*'' That must have been unbearable. Did you ever go looking for your past?'''

I wouldn't say unbearable. It was the only life I knew, so it was all I expected. As for my past, not at all. When I left slavery, I left in a way that put it behind me. Since then, I've just been enjoying this nice wide world you people apparently have out here. Never knew any of this existed untill I was already a man.

' *He chuckles, finishing his tea.*'' One of our readers wants to know who, or /what/ you are exactly? Why don't you tell us, ol' Pete-eye?'''

Who am I and what am I. Well, I'm the Duke of Hemenster and Baxtorian, and a General of the Ardougne Royal Army. But those are just titles. In reality, I am just a killer. I kill people for money and I am good at it, and because of that, I get these fancy titles. It's quite simple really.

''' Ooo, /fun/! *The Interviewer giggles and jazz hands a little before moving on.* So a General, hmmm? Tell us, dear, sweet Peteceslas, how did you gain the title?'''

You want the honest truth? I slaughtered a load of men and women in as brutal a fashion as I could. Me and my friend Aegidius needed work, so we were contacted by a up and coming leader in the world. He hired us to sack Ardougne, so we did. Since then, we've won his wars and defended his country. So why not make us the leaders of his army?

' *The Interviewer squeals, kicking in his seat.*'' So we have a sassy murderer on our hands, hm? Another reader asks about how the-... Ooo, bad word, must be a rejected admirer. Says Jim? I don't know who that is, maybe he loves you. Anyways, he asks how someone like you could end up married and expecting? Spill the beans, my darling Pete With The Wind!'''

Sassy murderer huh? I'll have to add that to my list of titles. *He gave a toothy grin, sitting forward and putting his hands on his knees.*  And yeah,  married! Honestly I didn't really see it coming, but to be honest I just get on with her in a way I don't with other people. The best part is, I met her in a bar when I shot her through the knee with an arrow. We met again a while later, and thinks just seemed to click between us. Then were together for a few years, got to know each other inside and out, and the time just came to pop the question. After we got married, kids is just the natural next step.

' *The Interviewer nods eagerly, scribbling in his notebook.*'' Wow. Mohave, are you Mohave-ing a laugh? You shot her in the knee?'''

Man, these are some awful puns, pal. The comedy routine needs some work! *Peter laughed, sittng back into his chair.*  And yup! Straight through the knee. We even left her there to die, so my life could have gone a bit differently if that doctor who saved her hadn't been in the bar!

'*As his ears recieve the first comment, the Interviewer stares with a glare as his back straightens.*'' I worked /hard/ for that humor and comedy, don't you /ever/ insult it. Now, a few more questions. One, terribly impatient reader and by the looks of it downright rude asks whether you completely lack a morality or do you have a form of morality that justifies your actions?... Did you kill his daughter or something, little Peterino?'''

His daughter? I might have, who knows! As for my morality, well that's a hard one. It comes down to what you consider good and bad, really. Look at City's around the world for example. They seem to put murder on their list of crimes, yet still have an army to go kill people. Who are they to say when I can and can't kill somebody? Who gives them the right to make that choice for me? I grew up with no rights, no rules, nothing. So now, I just do what I want. I trust myself more than I trust any of these Kings or Queens.

''' Hm, I'm afraid we'll have to wrap it up there Mr. Petertato Head! This has been RS RP Interviews Mohave Ahkran A.K.A Peter! Stay tuned!'''

*The Interviewer looks towards Peter, still evidently hurt by his comment.*

Have a good one, pal. Keep working on that comedy routine.

''' Jump off a cliff. You horrible ma-'''

 *THE END.*

 *Murder noises*