Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-5049048-20140110212344/@comment-5049048-20140125125110

Jimcest wrote: > I eat my magical cooked ham to restore my divine powers. You roll: 6 (+1)

''You eat the cooked ham and restore your divine powers, transforming you into the epic overlordish God of Cooked Ham! So, you're a big cooked ham. Looks delicious. Better look out for carnivorous animals (and other players that're hungry!)''

Kierandom! wrote: > I ride the dragon into battle against the Kraken!

> The dragon and its minions now start attacking the Kraken. You roll: 4

''You ride the dragon into battle! Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to war you go!''

You roll: 6

The minions and the dragon attack the Kraken, but you get caught up in the middle of the fight!

Kieran must Roll to Dodge!

You roll: 1

''One of the Kraken's tentacles swishes out from nowhere and swipes you straight off the dragon's back! Cold, injured, alone, and in space, your survival chances are too small and you give up.'' (Dead)

The Kraken must Roll to Dodge! the attacking minions!

You roll: 2 (+2)

The Kraken uses some of its arms to defend against the minions effortlessly.

Tiddles0536 wrote: >I bob my head up and down You roll: (N/A)

''You're dead and cannot bob your head, as you don't have one. Perhaps reviving yourself would help.''

Cuddles Epic wrote: >I destroy the Kraken with my vast mind-powers. You roll: 6 (+1)

Your anger, pain and hate all coalesce into a single beam of furious power that you direct that the Kraken but, alas, your singular focus made your wings disappear! (no wings)

The Kraken must Roll to Dodge!

You roll: 5 (+2)

''The Kraken stares down the beam sent from Tiddles like Saradomin glared down Zamorak's power beam and sends it straight back! Dayum!''

Tiddles must Roll to Dodge!

You roll: 2

''Owowowowowowowow! Being hit like that by your own anger and pain is immensely dangerous, and your frail body- still injured from the beekeepers- is unable to cope.'' (Dead)

Kkfrostsen wrote: I resurrect myself into a mass of tentacles made of pure energy. You roll: 6

''With the magic of... magic, you resurrect yourself into a shape that looks like the reincarnation of Cthulhu.''

Kaboto Leafgrinder wrote: >Continues to be dead You roll: 5 (+1)

''You continue to be dead. And you enjoy it. In fact, you enjoy it so much that the denizens of the afterlife hate you for it and kick you out.'' (Alive!)

Drix153 wrote: > My floating star stuff coalesces to revive me. You roll: 4 (+1)

''Your floating star stuff coalesces and tries to revive you, but it doesn't quite have the required power yet! The attempt improves your condition, though.'' (+1 to next roll)

Sand Traven wrote: > I plug in the computer. You roll: 6 (-2)

''You plug in the computer. You now have a computer in space, connected to earth via a very, very, very, very long power cable.''

Hworin wrote: > stand around duMbling wondering what is going on now. You roll: 3 (-1)

You're too energetic to stand and think!

EllenEagle wrote: Hang on a second, what? I leave for a couple of days and my minio- FAITHFUL BEEKPER FOLLOWERS, are being subjugated?

> The beekeepers keep doing what they're doing.

> I decide to punch the Kraken in the face in anger due to this. You roll: 2

The beekeepers are too busy keeping bees.

You roll: 1 (-2)

You instead try to kick everyone else in the groin out of love.

Everyone (who is alive) must Roll to Dodge!

Jim rolls: 5

''Jim is a big cooked ham and does not have a groin. He gets tenderized a bit by your kick, and this makes him more tasty!'' (+1 to next roll)

Aztarwyn rolls: N/A

Aztarwyn kicks you instead.


 * Ellen must Roll to Dodge!


 * You roll: 6


 * In a hitherto unheard-of feat of yes, martial arts, you direct Aztarwyn's own counterattack back on him!


 * Aztarwyn must Roll to Dodge!


 * You roll: N/A


 * Again, Aztarwyn's quickly depleting powers redirect any attacks coming toward him back at you!


 * Ellen must Roll to Dodge!


 * You roll: 5


 * Ellen catches the final counterattack in this glorious duel with her left hand and winks conspiratorially at Aztar, stealing the rest of his defensive powers. (+1 to next roll!)

Back to Ellen's attempt at kicking everyone in the groin out of love!

Letx rolls: 1

''Your groin is your weakest spot since you wore it out on your honeymoon! The unexpected kick makes all the blood rush to your head, so it explodes gorily.'' (Dead)

Frostsen rolls: 3

Ellen kicks you, and it hurts, but you can sort of understand her, even through the agony stemming from your nether regions. (-1 to next roll)

Livviy rolls: 5

''She was wearing a codpiece, because this is essential when in Falador. Ellen's foot is, of course, impervious to damage by now but at least Livviy isn't harmed either. She feels good about this.'' (+1 to next roll)

Kaboto rolls: 2

''You were too woozy from being kicked out of the afterlife to properly pay attention, and now all of the sudden a girl has finally touched you in your special place. And she shouted "RIGHT FOOT RED MOTHAF[Removed content]!" right before doing it. You are deeply hurt.'' (Seriously injured)

Sand rolls: 1

''Ellen's foot tops the awesomeness of your sunglasses and Joint, and besides you were looking upward in an attempt to see where the hell your computer is, anyway. The sudden attack from below skewers you completely in two!'' (Dead)

Hworin rolls: 4

You were moving around too quickly for Ellen's foot to hit you properly and get away with no damage.

Aztarwyn Gonzo wrote: > With my mind tricks, I brainwash the Kraken to do my bidding. You roll: 3 (+1)

You use your mind tricks, and attempt to manipulate the Kraken!

The Kraken must Roll to Dodge!

You roll: 3 (+2)

The Kraken is too awesome for your puny mind powers to be effective. (+1)

NPC Rolls
The Kraken wrote: Eat the attacking minions! You roll: 3 (+2)(+1)

The Kraken eats the necromantic dragon and evil beekeepers, but they hurt its stomach! (-2 to next roll)

The Kraken wrote: Retreat to treat bellyache and fatness You roll: 5 (-2)

The Kraken retreats to mend its wounds, but someone hits it from behind as it does! (-1)

Ghostwriters wrote: Torture Tiddles You roll: 1

The ghostwriters get stuck criticizing each others' literary works.

Carnivorous Animal wrote: Eat Jim You roll: 2

The carnivorous animal decides that eating a god might not be a good idea, and doesn't.

World Events

 * The Kraken has temporarily retreated!
 * The sun is shining again!