Talk:Kaboto Leafgrinder/@comment-11555902-20130802035636/@comment-4536066-20130811182351

You did improve it, yes, it's better. If I had to pick one other thing you could consider adding to now I'd suggest you develop the introduction paragraph a little. (That is, the first paragraph you have up at the very top.)

Wikipedia's Albert Einstein article is an example I like to use for what a good introduction is. As you can see, in addition to telling you the bare basics like his name, the years he was alive, and where he was from, it gives a succinct overview of who he was and why anyone cares. It explains what his profession was, what he as a person was most well-known for, and overall gives a short summary of the most important events of his life (but doesn't go into full detail, that's what the rest of the article is for). So, if for some reason you forgot or didn't know who Einstein is, you could pull up the article, read just the intro, and you would have a good basic idea of who he was without having to muddle through the entire fifty-section article.