Talk:Varren 'goldshot' Cormick/@comment-24561343-20140314010530/@comment-5049048-20140314121451

As a judgement of the page itself, I have but these comments:

Finally, I present a link to the Example Character and request you read it. Perhaps it may aid you in the further development of this page.
 * 1) Information that is subject to change, such as your current in-game username, might not be the best thing to have on a character page
 * 2) As Tiddles noted, there are still a number of spelling errors. Also, the status "alive and kickin'" seems oddly informal in the otherwise objective infobox.
 * 3) Mixes up "would be" and "are" periodically
 * 4) I have some doubts about "Varren was and still is the only Battle-Mage to have served in the White Knight Order to this very day."
 * 5) I miss more recent developments on his activity; there are two pieces of history and no information on what he has done recently. Perhaps such a section might prove useful.
 * 6) It might be worth considering to merge the "Appearance" and "Vyre-hunter outfit" sections.

Content-wise, I know I should not comment, but there are some things that catch my attention, so I feel compelled to do so anyway:
 * 1) I would expect the White Knights to withdraw their gear from operatives should they be discharged. Also, Commorbs are theoretically Temple Knight technology and not available to regular WKs.
 * 2) The world of Gielinor is, according to Jagex, far larger than it looks. Barcrawling across the globe would be... ineffective? Certainly, it would take years to do but a single lap.
 * 3) Battle-mages should not wear heavy steel and leather armor; these materials obstruct and complicate the use of magic.
 * 4) According to my knowledge of vampyres, a silver sword should be absolutely ineffective as weapon by itself.
 * 5) *Additionally, a smoke bomb with ground silver is also extremely hazardous to the human user, as breathing in silver is very harmful.